The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore
by sikeminatural
Summary: Sam wakes up in hospital and finds that he can't remember the last 6 years. Dean is torn between telling Sam what's happened and protecting Sam from the pain and hurt they've been through. But what happens when Sam starts to remember?
1. Chapter 1

Dean sighed as he pulled up at another red light; he couldn't quite believe that he was sitting in traffic on his way home from work. He couldn't help resenting himself for pretending that this was how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. Working 9 to 5, doing the same old boring job over and over and over again. But he guessed that this was the price he had to pay for letting his brother sacrifice himself in order to save the world. Dean wished he could take back every bad thought he'd had about his brother since that day but he couldn't. He didn't even have the guts to face Bobby, the reminder of hunting too painful and too raw for him to be confronted with.

"Lisa! I'm home," he called as he opened the front door, shaking his head as he wiped his feet on the mat by the door. He felt a hint of sadness as he pulled off his boots. Sam had been the one that had wanted the normal life and even though he'd said otherwise in the last conversation they'd had about it, Dean could tell how disgruntled Sam had been about the fact that he'd never have the life he'd craved for most of his life. It all made sense when Sam made him promise to never bring him back, told him to go to Lisa and live this apple pie life.

They were halfway through dinner when Dean's phone rang. He gave Lisa an apologetic smile as he stood up to answer it, assuming that it was one of his work buddies inviting him for a beer.

"Hello?" he said without checking the caller ID.

"Hello sir, I'm calling from Mayfield Hospital in Nebraska, we have a young man here who was admitted yesterday and he gave us this number." A woman said and Dean gripped the phone tightly in his hand. It couldn't be…

"What's his name?" he asked in a shaky voice.

"We don't know, we were hoping that you could maybe come on down to hospital see if you recognise him? I can't give you any details over the phone but…things aren't looking good…"

"And you say he just gave you this number?" Dean asked his voice steadier this time around, "It must be a wrong number".

"Sir, please w-"before she could say anymore he hung up. His heart was beating rapidly as he clung to his cell phone. It wasn't Sam, Sam was gone he told himself as he went back over to the table.

* * *

"What year is it?"

"2005"

"Do you know who the President is?"

"Uhm….George Bush right?" The doctor sighed and wrote down some notes before leaving the room with a frown on his face.

"Sam?" a new voice called from the doorway and Sam looked up. Bobby. He frowned, he hadn't called Bobby, and the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. He'd remembered an old number of his Dad's and he'd left a message on his voicemail. He'd given up on calling Dean weeks ago when it became apparent that Dean wanted nothing to do with him. Sam hated being in this hospital, he wanted Dean and he wanted his Dad but neither of them had come. He couldn't shake the fog from his mind, his eyes were constantly hazy and it hurt whenever he tried to remember how he'd ended up here. He'd been having nightmares since he'd woken up and somehow he knew that Jess wasn't alive….he just didn't know. That wasn't the worst part though. Every morning he woke up screaming, the smell and sound of burnt flesh fresh in his mind but he couldn't explain it, he didn't understand what was happening to him. But he'd convinced himself that it wasn't true, he was seeing things that couldn't have happened. After one look in Bobby's eyes and his façade had come crushing down. His eyes slip shut and everything fell away.

When he woke up again, Bobby was still in the room but now he's with a strange man that makes Sam feel uneasy. He has dark brown hair and he's wearing a tan trench coat that Sam found rather ridiculous. He tried to say something but his throat was hoarse and Bobby appeared to be deep in conversation with the strange man.

"As far as I can tell Sam's memory hasn't been wiped clean by any angel or demon. It appears that the memories are still there…it's just been locked in his mind somehow," the stranger said.

"So how are we supposed to know how much he remembers?" Bobby whispered and the strange man turned to look at Sam, his piercing blue eyes assessing him slowly.

"Ask him," he replied simply. The strange man then vanished suddenly as Sam blinked sluggishly. As he blinked he saw flames, heard a mutter of a scream and felt a twinge of pain. All of a sudden he felt like he was eight years old again, wanted his brother to hug him and tell him that everything was okay. But Dean wasn't here. He wasn't here.

"What happened Sam?" Bobby asked after a while and Sam motioned to the jug of water on the stand by his bed and smiled gratefully once Bobby had handed him a glass of water.

"I don't remember anything," He said in a frustrated voice and Bobby's eyes filled with sadness, "The last thing I remember is Dean…he broke in…said that Dad was missing…I had…I'm supposed to have an interview…Bobby what's going on?"

* * *

Dean was sitting on the front porch when he heard a fluttering sound and suddenly Castiel appeared in front of him. Dean frowned; he hadn't seen Cas in months.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly.

"Well, it's nice to see you too Dean," Cas replied. "It's time for you to go to your brother now"

"It's not Sam…and even if it is…I have a family now, I can't just leave them," Dean argued stubbornly. Cas sighed.

"Okay, you leave me no choice but to do this forcefully," he said. "Just talk to him and then if you wish I'll bring you back." Before Dean could protest, Cas touched his shoulder and he found himself in a hospital corridor. He trembled slightly as he just stood there, frozen with fear. None of this made any sense. How could Sam be back after all this time? It didn't make any sense! All of sudden he could hear raised voices coming from the room.

"Where's Jess? I know something happened. That much I know! Just tell me Bobby!" Sam yelled and Dean could hear Bobby telling him to calm down. There was a loud smash and Sam screamed, "Dammit, just tell me Bobby!"

"She's dead!" Bobby yelled back and Dean flinched. So…Sam didn't remember anything? He didn't remember hell, Dean going to hell…Dad dying. Maybe there was a God after all. It would be cruel of him to not tell Sam what had happened but maybe…just maybe he'd get his Sammy back. He'd get this kid brother back. He made a decision and he walked into the room. Sam looked up from where he was glaring at Bobby in shock; the same expression now trained on Dean, time just seemed to freeze. Then there was a split second before it came back to life again. Sam broke out into huge sobs that seemed to shake his whole body and Bobby murmured several apologies before escaping the room. And Dean? Dean rushed over to Sam and embraced his brother.

"It's okay Sam, I'm here. I'm not going to leave you." The exact same words he's said whilst Sam had still been trapped in his own body. Dean wondered if he'd honour it this time.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam wasn't stupid; he knew that simply because Dean was here now it didn't mean that everything would magically be okay again. He'd been diagnosed with retrograde amnesia which meant the he'd lost all his memory after a certain point in his life. Right now it appeared to be Jessica's death. He'd tried to get Dean to tell him what had happened since, fill in the gaps but Dean had refused. He'd told Sam to get some rest. Sam had asked if Dean would still be there in the morning but he'd fallen asleep before he could hear Dean's answer. He hadn't been surprised when Dean had woken up and he wasn't there. After all how many times had he run away from Dean? Maybe that's how he'd ended up here, by running away. He just wished he could remember wished he wasn't so helpless. He'd told Dean a bit about the nightmares he'd been having and Dean had gone pale. Sam had stopped talking about it after that because he hadn't wanted to scare Dean away. But what if he had already?

"Your brother is just confused." a voice said and Sam flinched, as he turned to see the strange man in the trench coat sitting in a chair beside his bed.

"Castiel…" Sam said abruptly and the strange man – Castiel apparently – frowned at him, "You're an angel…"

"That's true, but how do you know if you can't remember?" Castiel asked and Sam turned away. He'd just…_known. _How was he supposed to explain that? So he changed the subject,

"I saw her die," he said quietly, "I'd been dreaming about it for weeks but I didn't call Dean or Dad because I thought I could handle it myself…it's funny it was 6 years ago but why do I feel as though it happened just yesterday?"

"Interesting," Castiel said and Sam's face twisted in anger. How was this interesting? He thought he was 22 years old when really he was 28! He didn't know what he'd last been doing and memories of his girlfriend dying were fresh in his mind, and apparently angels were real! Yet all this Castiel could say was 'Interesting'.

"If you weren't an angel, I'd probably insult you." he said and Castiel sighed.

"That's more Dean's style than yours," he replied and Sam sank back down into the uncomfortable hospital bed. He figured that the doctor would release him soon but he was uneasy to push anything because he didn't really know where he'd go. Sam turned around only to see that Castiel had disappeared and he groaned and closed his eyes.

ooooOOOoooo

Dean knew that he was ungrateful; he'd spent the last year cursing God and demanding that he brought Sam back and now it'd happened he didn't want to believe it. Because Sam being alive meant that he couldn't pretend anymore. When he'd gotten back to the house he'd been withdrawn and closed off, his mind elsewhere whenever anyone had tried to strike up a conversation with him. He wondered how long he'd be able to continue this façade. He was pushed out of his thoughts by his cell phone ringing.

"Hey…it's me…" Sam's voice filtered in his ear and Dean cursed silently. Damn.

"Uh, hey…how are you today," he asked in a light tone not wanting to worry Sam.

"Same as I yesterday, still don't remember a damn thing….except…you know..." Sam replied in an easy tone. Dean rubbed his hand over his face, he _did _know. Sam had damn near described his own experience of hell and that scared Dean. On one hand, Sam deserved to know what had happened but on the other hand how could Dean tell Sam all that had happened…how could he pass up on a chance to start over.

"Dean? You there?" Sam called and Dean shook his head,

"Yeah…sorry spaced out for a minute, look I've spoken to Bobby and he says that you can go and stay with him…I'll be up there soon for a visit..." he said. There was a long silence that left Dean feeling extremely uncomfortable until Sam cleared his throat and said,

"Don't be like this, Dean…don't be like Dad…Bobby told me that you were shacked up with a girl and a kid and that's fine, but don't shut me out…not now."

"I have to," Dean paused as he chose his words carefully, "Me and you? We're better off apart…I'd only hinder your progress…I have a different life now and you can't be part of it…"

Dean wasn't surprised when he heard a click closely followed by the dialling tone.

**Three Days Later**

Dean was packing an overnight bag when suddenly Cas appeared beside him; he ignored him and continued to shove items into his bag.

"You might as well not bother," Cas informed him. "I'll take you". Dean frowned,

"No, you said you wouldn't until 'pulled my head out of my ass', so I'm taking a plane like a normal person!"

"You're afraid of flying, this is stupid besides…it may be a pointless journey" Cas said and Dean stopped what he was doing and turned to face Cas,

"What do you mean?" he asked because if it was up to him he'd be kicking back and enjoying a beer but he'd promised Sam that he'd come and see him. Or at least he'd tried to. He hadn't spoken to Sam since he'd hung up on him.

"Sam says that he doesn't want to see you."

"Yeah, nice try—"Dean starts to say before Cas grabs him and he finds himself in Bobby's front room.

"A little warning would be nice," He growled angrily, "All this angel zapping is messin' with my system." He didn't realise that Sam was sitting there glaring at him. Dean sighed,

"Hey, Sammy."

"It's Sam," Sam said in an icy tone and Dean fought back the urge to roll his eyes. "And I don't want to talk to you." And with that Sam got up and disappeared out of the room. Dean was about to follow him but a hand on his shoulder stops him. He looked up only to see yet another angry glare directed his way.

"Every time I think that you can't be anymore pig headed than your Daddy was, you do something that proves me wrong. " Bobby said and Dean sighed because seriously? What was he supposed to have done now?

"I'm just trying to do the right thing Bobby! This is a golden opportunity for all of us to put what's happened behind us!" Dean argued. "I just…don't want him to remember…"

"That's the most selfish thing I ever heard!" Bobby exclaimed as he shook his head, "He's already remembering Dean! And you and him weren't what you were before all of this happened, what do you think will happen now that you're abandoning him? Do you want him to resent you forever, the way he resented your Dad?"

"He's my brother Bobby, and we're doing this _my _way!"

"Don't kid yourself, you know what Sam's like, if it's answers he wants he won't give up until he finds them and by then it might be too late"

"Too late for what?"

"Too late for you and Sam to be brothers again!" Bobby said in a sad voice.

Neither of them spotted Sam lurking around in the hallway as he listened to their every word.

ooooOOOoooo

Sam's didn't want to know Dean's reason for abandoning him; he just wanted his memory back. And seeing as Dean was refusing to help him, he'd find out by himself. Maybe Dean was right, he'd only _hinder his progress_. So as Dean and Bobby continued their conversation he gathered what he could and made his way out of the back door. He was still a bit weak from whatever the hell had happened to him but apparently in the six years he'd forgotten he'd bulked up a fair bit. Sam reckoned that he had enough stamina to at least get away from Bobby's before they'd realise that he was gone.

As he walked down out of the yard he was startled by Castiel appearing beside him.

"You can't stop me," he said simply as he carried on walking.

"I know," Castiel said, "But I want to help, like I said Dean is just confused…he's…you've both been through a lot..."

"Have we now? How the hell would I know! Just…leave me alone…" Sam said tiredly frowning as Castiel held out something towards him. It was a cell phone and Sam frowned.

"What's this?" he asked.

"It's a cell phone; I believe…it's used as a form of communication. I've discovered how useful they can be," Castiel said and Sam raised an eyebrow,

"Well good for you," he replied his voice heavy with sarcasm, "But why are you giving it to me?"

"So that you can contact me and vice versa, I should stop you from leaving but I won't, at least not until I know the consequences of your return" and with that Castiel vanished as suddenly as he had appeared leaving Sam with a confused look on his face. He frowned as he noticed that he was no longer at Bobby's but standing outside a shady looking motel. For a minute, he pondered how he was supposed to pay for a room when the phone in his hand vibrated and he looked down and saw that he had a new text message.

_The buttons on this thing are ridiculously undersized. Just thought I'd give you a helping hand. There's some money in your pocket. It should be the correct currency._

Sam shook his head slowly as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he'd just received a text message – from an angel. He was in need of some serious sleep.

ooooOOOoooo

_There's a flash of light and two men suddenly appear in a rundown alley behind a seedy bar._

_"Did you hear? The Winchester boy, he's back from hell..."_

_"Yeah I heard, it's been the breaking news upstairs"_

_"From what my sources told me he doesn't remember any of what's happened"_

_"That should make our job easier then, there's been unrest amongst the angels, they want payback and this? This could be the perfect opportunity"_

_"This time around we do it right, no heaven, and no hell…just total oblivion"_


	3. Chapter 3

Dean sighed as he checked through the mail. He'd just dropped Ben off at school and he didn't have the energy to go into work so he'd called in sick. He ignored the voice in his head that told him that he should be looking for Sam. He was tired of running around after his brother. And now Bobby wasn't speaking to him and he hadn't heard from Cas. He'd gotten on a plane after a fruitless day of waiting to see if Sam would return. He knew that it was his fault that Sam had gone but that was what he had wanted in the first place. Wasn't it? But even though he hadn't hunted in just over a year, he still had his instincts. And right now the dial was pointing towards 'something's wrong'. He just wished he had the courage to stop lying to himself but he didn't, he knew that. He was happy here, this was life now. Period.

0000000

Sam would ever admit it to anyone else, but he had started to wish that he hadn't left Bobby's place so hastily. He'd felt at home there in an almost surreal way because he was sure that his 22 year old self hadn't stepped foot in that place for years. It was a better feeling that what he was feeling now which was alone and scared. Not being able to remember anything scared the crap out of him. He'd tried to watch CNN on the motel crappy TV but all the talk of there being a financial recession and a different government had left him unnerved so he'd just switched it off. As it had gotten later and later he'd gotten more and more terrified that something was out there and he found himself drawing symbols that he didn't recognise on the floor and on the ceilings. Once he'd done that he'd felt a bit safer but creeped out by the fact that he remembered enough to be able to draw them even if he didn't actually remember what they were. Eventually he finally got enough courage to boot up that laptop he'd found at Bobby's when he'd been rooting around. He knew that it was his because he'd been able to crack the password within five minutes and his passwords were pretty specific. But fear had won over and he'd shut it down, scared of what he'd find on it.

The need to remember was strong, it was but Sam couldn't help wondering what his life would be like if he never remembered. Maybe it was just meant to be. He shrugged and booted up the laptop. As he typed in his password he felt a sharp pain at his temple and his eyes fluttered shut

_Dad's on a hunting trip. And he hasn't been home in a few days._

He saw himself standing in his living room, with Dean in front of him and just like that the memory faded.

"Dammit!" he yelled as he slammed his fist down on the table in frustration. Why was he seeing something that he already remembered! He'd tried hard to remember what had happened after Dean had come to see him but he couldn't remember. Shaking his head slowly he sucked in a huge breath of air and approached the laptop once more. He frowned as he saw a folder named 'WORK' he opened it and there were a few of his law essays saved in the folder. Without thinking about it he tapped in a few keys and wasn't surprised to see that there was another folder within the original folder that was locked and hidden. He cracked the password in a number of seconds and his mouth fell open in shock when he saw that there were hundreds of subfolders all numbered chronologically.

"What the hell?" he whispered to himself.

0000000

Bobby sighed as he picked up his house phone, he didn't want to come between Sam and Dean but he couldn't help feeling that something was wrong here. Sam wasn't safe on his own. Cas had told him where Sam was and giving him the number and Bobby hadn't found it to too hard to lie to Dean. Not when Dean hadn't seemed too fussed about finding Sam, Bobby would have sworn the he saw relief in Sam's eyes but he put it down to tiredness. He dialled the number quickly and waited to hear if Sam would pick up, to his surprise he did,

"Bobby?" Sam said quietly, panic evident in his voice

"Sam? Are you okay?" Bobby asked knowing fully well that Sam clearly wasn't okay

"I'm remembering things…a woman in white…she…she chased us down some sort of highway but…it's nothing…nothing compared to the nightmare I keep on having and I can't…I can't…"

There was a click and the phone went dead. Bobby sighed deeply as he wondered how Sam had known it was him. One thing he did know was that he needed to knock some sense into Dean before Sam went into a complete meltdown. Dean's selfishness was in a way understandable but if anything, Dean was the most qualified to deal with this situation and yet he wasn't even ready to acknowledge the fact that Sam had been in hell.

"Idjit," Bobby mumbled, "Just like your Daddy"

0000000

"…No…Bobby listen to me, I'm not going to look for him!" Dean argued as he closed his eyes and tried to regain some sense of calm.

"I'm not an idiot, I know that he was in hell…I...I know…but…it's not my problem...The Sam I knew? He's gone…how do we know that he's even real? Huh? What if this is some sick trick?"

In the end Bobby hung up on him and Dean couldn't say he was surprised. He didn't care though, he really didn't. This was his life now and it was a good life. He kept on repeating it in his mind; maybe if he said it enough times he'd finally believe it. Deep down inside he knew that eventually, all good things come to an end.

0000000

_He smiled when he saw that there was no light coming from the house. So they were confident about their safety presumably. They didn't know that he had been staking out the place of weeks. He still hadn't been giving his orders but he didn't care anymore. He was tired of pretending that there was some sort of game plan to be followed here. So he was doing what we wanted. After all it was a dog eat dog world. Literally. So screw it all, if he was going down…he was going down fighting. He smiled as he slipped through the backdoor, surprised to find it still unlocked from when he'd had a quick look around when the house had been empty for a short while in the morning. He was no more than three steps in when he sensed it. There was someone there. The smile on his face fell slowly when he saw Dean Winchester step out of the shadows. If he was the praying type he'd have been chanting out as many as he could inside his head but he wasn't so he silently accepted his fate. But he wasn't going to bow out quietly, he was going to give as good as he got._


	4. Chapter 4

Sam ended up stumbling out to a liquor store and he bought whatever he could get his hands on. He'd downed half of one of the bottles before he'd even reached his motel room. The whiskey was rough and it burned his throat as he gulped it down but Sam didn't care. He felt all fuzzy and everything was blurry. Maybe this would at least stop the nightmares, the memories and misery from creeping up on him again. He'd had enough for one day, he really had. He'd only managed to get through the first folder. He'd opened it up and had found web pages and articles based on 'The Woman In White' there's even been a recording a voicemail message from his Dad (who Sam had heard nothing about since he'd woken up) with some sort of EBP on it which led to another memory. Right now though he just wanted to forget, he wanted to block out the pain for just a few hours. He had all but passed out when it happened, the tell-tale stab of pain at his temple and he saw himself falling. He heard an echo of his own voice but he couldn't make it out at first. He saw Dean with is face swollen with blood all over it and he gasped.

_I've got him_

Got who? Sam wondered as he grabbed the nearest bottle to him.

0000000

To say that Dean was angry would be an understatement. He was livid with rage; he'd been so preoccupied with Sam that he'd slipped up. Slipped up when he was supposed to keeping Ben and Lisa safe. He'd spent the entire day at the house and he hadn't noticed anything suspicious – because he hadn't been looking. He'd been just about to go upstairs when he saw that the back door wasn't bolted and locked. At first he tried to put it down to human error but then he noticed that the discreet devil's trap he drawn above the door had vanished and he knew. Knew that something evil had been here and he knew that it'd be coming back. He'd gone to the garage to get the demon knife when he'd been struck by the sight of the Impala sitting there covered by a tarp. For the first time in a long time he realised just how much he'd missed her. But even so he couldn't dwell on it. He'd grabbed the knife and then he'd waited.

"You must have some sort of death wish," Dean said with a smirk once he'd gotten a good luck at the intruder. Demon. Low pay grade from what he could tell, "You picked the worst place to have this fight."

"I didn't come here for a fight," the demon said. "I came here to kill the woman and child." It was said with so much disdain that Dean's blood ran cold.

"They've got nothing to do with any of this you son of a bitch." He said angrily. The demon shrugged,

"Who cares? They're your family and killing you is pointless, you and your brother are like flies, you swat and swat them but still they live on to terrorise you another day." it said and Dean's eyes narrowed,

"Leave my brother out of this…"

"Too late for that, right now your brother is drunk and expecting visitors!" it smiled cruelly, "You know were so happy when we heard Sam Winchester was finally in hell…finally a chance to get some payback. Lucifer's little golden boy had failed his great mission just in time for the full scale rebellion downstairs. We made his life a misery, even worse that what happened to you and he had the same options but he didn't give in, he didn't even say a word unless he was defending you….his filthy, maggot of a brother…said you'd been pushed into torturing. I didn't believe him but I admired him, we tried so hard to get him to break but nothing…then they let him go."

"What do you mean 'let him go'?" Dean asked angrily.

"One day he just disappeared, Lucifer and Michael kept to themselves mostly but we all believe that it had something to do with them. But this isn't the issue now is it Dean?"

"It was nice chatting and all but really I'm afraid that I have to bring our conversation to an _end_._" _Dean said as darted forwards and plunged the knife into the demon's stomach and watched as an orange flash of light went through him and the body slumped onto the ground.

Dean sighed as he looked down at the demon. He'd come for Ben and Lisa, they were in danger because he was here. He had to leave. For good.

00000000

Sam knew that he'd always been a lightweight and two hours after he'd eventually passed out he find himself throwing up into the toilet repeatedly. He pulled a face in the mirror as he washed his face; his skin was pale and clammy. He hadn't taken any of the pills that the doctor at the hospital had given him and he decided that now probably wasn't the best time to start given all the alcohol in his system. As he stepped out of the bathroom, he heard a noise. It sounded like someone was scratching the door. He shrugged and put it down to it being a stray cat or something. Suddenly he wished that he'd thought to pack some salt when he was leaving Bobby's, he didn't even know if the symbols he'd drawn would work, and he had no weapons. Not that anything was out there of course. It could just be his messed up mind playing tricks on him.

He was dozing off when he sensed it; there was something in the room. His eyes flew open and he tried to jump out of the chair he'd been sitting in but he was forced back down.

"Sam Winchester…I would say that it's nice to see you, but I'd be lying." a female voice said and Sam shot her a dirty look.

"What do you want?" he said through gritted teeth and the other one laughed.

"Your life," he said with an evil glint in his eyes. "Why should you get a 'get out of jail' card and not us? We'd been down there for centuries! Centuries!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam said, "I've never been in jail before. The man and woman seemed to be surprised and they frowned at each other.

"So…it's true? Your memories are no longer with you," the woman said as a smile slowly appeared on her face. "I have to admit, that'll take the buzz out of killing you"

"Well then don't kill me!" Sam said quickly as he tried to keep the panic out of his voice.

"Maybe he has a point…" the man said, "I'd like him to remember _everything _that way he ends up as broken and pathetic as his brother, man I'd kill to see that.

"What if he's lying? For all we know he could remember everything!" The woman argued. As they argued Sam realised that they were demons and something clicked in his mind. He felt a wave of power wash through him, leaving him too euphoric to be confused. It took over his body and slowly he rose out of the seat and grinned at the male demon.

"You know, you probably should've killed me…" and he closed his eyes and the demons eyes burned bright before they dropped onto the floor.

Sam gasped as the power left him and he too crumbled to the floor. _What the hell just happened?_


	5. Chapter 5

In the end Dean decided to just leave. He didn't want any teary goodbyes; he intended to sneak out when they were sleeping. He drew every protective symbol he could think off under rugs, mats…everywhere and he left a simple note.

_Sam needs me._

He knew that Lisa would understand, if anything she'd been too understanding. Besides it not like he was cutting them off completely. He'd drop in from time to time, he owed them that much. They'd been his family, taken care of him. He wasn't just going to abandon them. Not like he'd abandoned Sam. _Sam._ God, he didn't even know where Sam was. But first things first, if he was going to go back to hunting, he had to do it right. He puts the keys of his truck on top of the note and he makes his way over to the garage.

As he entered, he hesitated for a second as he took in the site of the tarp covered Impala. _Home, sweet home, _he thought as he flung off the tarp. He jumped in shock when he saw that Castiel was sitting in the passenger seat,

"Dude, you scared the crap out of me!" Dean exclaimed his voice trailing off as he saw the look on Cas' face, "What, what is it?" he asked and Cas simply said,

"We have to get to Sam."

"Okay fine, zap me there!" Dean said and Cas shook his head,

"You have to find him yourself after all you're the cause of this, it's about time you removed the box from your ass"

"It's stick, Cas…removed the stick from my ass." Dean corrected him angrily but Cas had vanished. He sighed. He was just about to get into the Impala when he heard a voice from behind him.

"So you were going to leave without saying goodbye?"

* * *

Sam didn't remember how long he sat there on the floor with his back pushed up against the wall as he cried silently. He'd killed two people just like that…and he didn't even know how. That just made it all worse. The room was stuffy and Sam felt as though he couldn't breathe. He'd sobered up pretty quickly after he'd realised what he'd done and he wondered how long it'd be before he started to throw up again. He had to get out of there. He stood up shakily, using the wall to balance his body before he stepped forward. He stumbled around the room as he gathered up his laptop, and a few items and hastily shoved them into his duffel. He went into the small bathroom and washed his face before hurrying out. He locked the main door from the inside and grabbed his stuff and went back into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He swung open the window and threw his bag down onto the ground. Thankfully his room had been at the back of the motel complex so Sam was pretty sure that it was late enough for him to get out unseen. He jumped up onto the basin and hoisted himself out of the window slowly, he still didn't have his full strength back and the alcohol had done a number on him. He winced as his body hit the hard concrete and bit his bottom lip hard to stop himself from crying out. After a few seconds he stood up slowly, grabbed his bag and ran off into the darkness.

* * *

"Listen, Lisa…I have to do this…" Dean started to say as Lisa looked at him accusingly.

"What do you mean Sam needs you? I though…I mean you said that he was gone…" Lisa said in a confused tone and Dean sighed,

"Look it's not for forever…he's in a bad place right now and he needs my help, as soon as I'm done I'll be back, I pr-"

"Don't make any promises you can't keep Dean, just…just don't, what about Ben? He needs you too..."

"And I'll always be there for him, he can call anytime…I just…I need to do this. Sam he…he doesn't remember any of the last 6 years Lisa, and now he's alone and there are people out there, things out there that he doesn't remember and it could be fatal…I can't just leave him on his own." Dean said. Lisa seemed to deflate suddenly and Dean wondered why all he seemed to be doing these days was to hurt the people he cared about.

"Just go," she said as she turned to leave the garage. "Go!" and then she left and Dean sighed deeply. He promised himself that he'd call her later on but right now he had to find Sam. He took out his phone and called Bobby,

"Hey, Bobby…it's Dean…how you doing?"

"Have you been looking for your brother yet?" Bobby asked straight away and Dean rolled his eyes,

"That's why I'm calling, do you know where he is?" he asked, there was a long silence as Dean waited for an answer when Bobby cleared his throat, "Bobby, what is it?"

"He's gone…Cas put him up at a motel and when he went to check on him he was gone," Bobby replied and Dean's heart sank, "We've tried calling him and nothing, he's not picking up and neither of us know how to do the GPS thing."

"I'll be there as quick as I can" Dean said before hanging up, he didn't think he could stomach more of this conversation without punching something and that wouldn't help anybody. It wouldn't help Sam.

* * *

Sam coughed as he finished dry heaving, he didn't know where he was or really remember how he'd gotten here. He looked up to see if he could see any street signs but he couldn't. The smell of garbage was ripe in the air and he figured that he was in some sort of backstreet alley somewhere. He pulled his phone out of his bag and started to dial Dean's number, his hands slipping as he hastily punched in the keys. Sam had deleted the number off the phone back when Dean had made it clear he didn't want him around. But he had to try, he needed to remember.

He heard a door creak open and he scrambled backwards and hid his duffle amongst the black trash bags. The phone was shoved hastily into his bag as well and distanced himself anyway from it. It was still dark; they'd never know that it was there.

He knew that they were coming for him he just knew. He cowered slightly as two burly men approached him.

"Well…look what we have here…" one of them said just before he kicked Sam in his stomach. Sam cried out in pain as he doubled over. As he sat up he locked eyes with one of them and he saw hazy, bloodshot eyes staring back at him and it was clear that these guys were drunk or intoxicated somehow.

"People like you? You're scum…with your dirty, disgusting drugs habits…" Sam wanted to cry. _Again._ Drug habit? Did he really look that bad? He barely had time to flinch before a large, meaty fist connected with his face. These men were obviously unstable and Sam was practically defenceless.

How the hell was he going to get out of this one?


	6. Chapter 6

By the time Dean reached Bobby's house he was struggling to keep his eyes open. It shocked him just how weird it was to get used to driving all throughout the night again even though he'd done it for most of his life. It seemed that a year away could almost change everything. As the engine died down, Dean took a look around the yard. He wondered for the first time how Bobby had coped during the year, he'd barely spoken to him…or thought about him. Dean wondered if he'd been right to honour Sam's wishes. Maybe if he'd stuck with Bobby, tried harder to get Sam back they wouldn't be going through all of this. Maybe the fact that his chance at normalcy had been snatched away from so quickly wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe he wouldn't still be fooling himself. Dean felt so conflicted that he probably could have sat there in the driver's seat of his beloved car for days as he pondered. It hadn't felt weird to be driving the Impala again. After the nostalgia had died down, he'd felt calm…it was like…being home. The Impala had always been a safe haven for him and Sam. And it always would be.

After Bobby had let him in, he was surprised to see Castiel in Bobby's library with a worried look on his usually neutral face.

"Any news?" he said bypassing any greetings and Bobby nodded at him before saying,

"Not as far as we know, he went into liquor store went back to the motel and after that there's no sign of him but…" Bobby trailed off slowly as if he didn't want to say anymore. Dean looked at him expectantly,

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked and he was taken aback, when he saw Cas glaring at him.

"What's your problem?" he asked in an affronted tone.

"Right now? You are," Cas said simply and Dean rolled his eyes. _Nice. "_There were two demons dead on the floor when I arrived at Sam's room" Dean gasped quietly. Demons? But…did that mean that Sam had been using his powers again?

"As far as I could tell he hadn't consumed any demon blood before he left the room, it appears that he escaped through the bathroom window" Cas continued and Dean's heart sank.

"Before you start wallowing in self-pity, I suggest you do…that…GPS…thing. Things were so much simpler when you all used pen and paper to communicate."

"Would you lose the attitude?" Dean snapped suddenly, his tiredness finally catching up with him as Cas' revelations sank in, "I know that this is all my fault, I _know_!"

"Oh here we go again." Cas replied and Dean's eyes widened,

"You've been spending _way_ too much time around me" he blurted out, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean!"

"You can't blame Sam anymore so you want to make yourself a martyr, blame yourself for everything that's happened…you know that's your problem, there always has to be someone to blame and it's always you who decides who gets that blame." Cas said his voice steady even though it was apparent that he was angry.

"How dare you say that to me? When you and your brothers toyed me with me and Sam engineered our entire lives…I don't blame myself, I blame you…and I blame God!" Dean smirked when he saw Cas' face twist with anger, "That's right you don't like it when someone is blaming your precious father!"

"Well what about your father Dean?" Cas shot back, "Didn't you defend him until and beyond the day he died…you were so loyal to him but when it comes to your brother you don't like it when you're not in control!" Cas shouted and the room went silent. Dean was stunned. Cas had never spoken to him like that before. And even though he knew that Cas might be right he wasn't ready to admit, not when the angels had caused this in the first place.

"You know, you've got some nerve, how do I know that you're not behind all of this, that you and your buddies didn't wipe his memory so that he couldn't mess up your little clean-up plan," Dean yelled angrily his eyes widening in surprise when he saw the guilty look on Cas' face. Before he could question him Bobby interrupted quietly,

"None of this shouting is helping Sam, you two can butt heads later okay?" Dean just nodded slowly before pointing at Cas and saying,

"This isn't over!" But Cas wasn't paying him any attention, instead he was frowning. Dean was about to say something else when Bobby slapped his arm and shook his head. Dean hid a growl of frustration behind a cough as he glared at Cas once more. Right now, he just wanted to see Sam he was tired of all of this arguing.

"I know where Sam's phone is," Cas said finally, "Since I was the one who gave it to him, I was able to track it down, before I was looking for Sam so I didn't think to try" he explained. Before Dean could say anything Bobby quickly said,

"Take Dean….call me when you get there and I'll drive up, I don't trust that angel zapping thing of yours."

* * *

The smell hit Sam's nostrils before he'd even fully opened his eyes and he knew that he was still in cold, dirty alleyway. His head was pounding and after attempting to stand up he knew that there was something wrong with his leg. There was something, hard and bumpy underneath his back and as he reached round he realised that it was his duffel. He breathed a sigh of relief when he managed to drag it from underneath him to check that his laptop was still there, as well as his wallet. He saw the cell that Cas had given him lying nearby…he could see from where he lay that it was already smashed up quite badly and he sighed. He just hoped that someone would come by eventually. Even if he couldn't remember the last 6 years he at least knew who he was. In that sense he was lucky. Maybe he should never have called Dean from the hospital…maybe he'd still be in Nebraska instead of here in South Dakota behind a stupid bar he'd never seen in his life. He wouldn't have killed two people…_with his mind! _He flinched as a lone tear ran down his face, stinging the cuts and bruises that the two random guys had inflicted on him. Unfortunately all the alcohol had worn off and he could feel the pain, and boy did it hurt.

"Sam!" Sam's head shot up and he grimaced as the pain washed over him in a huge rush. Besides, it was just his mind playing tricks on him. Dean wasn't here, Dean had gone.

"Sam!" There It was again, that voice and for the first time…Sam felt hope. Maybe…Dean had come back after all.

"Sam? Oh my god…it's okay Sam, I'm here..." Dean said as he came running towards Sam, cradling his face in his hands. Sam flinched as a sharp pain began to form at his temple. He could see himself walking towards a whole in the ground, he looked up and saw Dean sitting on the ground with blood all over his face and suddenly, he was falling and falling. And falling.

"Sam? Sam…come on open your eyes for me!" Dean yelled as Sam suddenly fell unconscious, he checked his pulse…but he couldn't feel anything.

Sam wasn't breathing.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam wasn't breathing. That's all Dean could process at the moment. He didn't even register Castiel pushing him aside and placing a hand on Sam's chest. He didn't register anything that was happening until he heard Sam gasping for air. He looked and saw Cas hovering over Sam and he panicked.

"Cas, get away from him," he said through gritted teeth, grimacing as he saw that Sam's leg was at a weird angle. "But fix his leg first." Cas muttered something under his breath but Dean ignored him. He saw that Sam had passed out again and he was glad that he hadn't seen Cas healing him. They didn't need to freak Sam anymore that he had been already. As soon as Cas was done Dean said,

"Help me get him into the car." and he started to hold Sam up by his shoulders cursing the fact that his _little _brother was so _huge_.

"But I can just-"Cas started to say but Dean interrupted,

"No," he said bluntly. "I will drive him to the nearest hospital…you can do whatever the hell you want " He was still angry with Cas and he didn't even know what to believe anymore. How did he know that Cas hadn't been lying to him all along?

"You know that I would never lie to you Dean," Cas said suddenly and Dean cursed his stupid angelic powers. "But I can understand your doubt" and then he was gone. Dean blinked as here realised that Sam was now laying on the back seat of the Impala. He sighed and rushed over to the driver's side so he could drive Sam to the hospital.

* * *

Three hours later when Sam woke up, Dean was right there sitting in the chair beside his bed. His hospital bed. Sam was suddenly fully alert as he realised that he was hospital – again. He sat up swiftly, the rustling of the sheets causing Dean to look up.

"Sam!" he said in a surprised tone, "You're awake.." Sam rolled his eyes, or well he tried to…he winced as he felt the impact of the blows that he'd received to his face.

"Go away, Dean…" Sam mumbled as he flopped back down onto the bed, "Go back to Lisa and…" Dean shifted uncomfortably as Sam tried to remember Ben's name but he didn't fill in the blank.

"Look, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have left and I should have come after you sooner—" Dean started to say but he was interrupted by Sam coughing slightly and Dean realised that he was laughing.

"What's so funny?" he said and Sam just shook his head slightly.

"You know you remind me of him," he said and Dean frowned. It took him a while to realise that Sam didn't know any of the last 6 years. As far as Sam knew, this was the first time in two years that they'd been in contact with one another so Dean had a pretty good idea of who Sam was referring to but he still had to ask. It still wouldn't hurt any less.

"Remind you of who?" he said wincing at how choked up his voice sounded.

"Dad," Sam said and Dean felt a pang of pain hit him hard. Back then he would have loved the compliment or in this case insult? He didn't know. All he ever wanted to be when he was growing up was a complete carbon copy of his father. He'd looked up to him, admired him. He'd dressed like him, listened to his music and did everything that'd been asked of him. But he'd been wrong; his Dad wasn't perfect. And he and Sam had discussed this, argued over it so many times that Dean just didn't want to get into it now. Not now when everything was screwed up.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Sam angry voice cut into this thoughts and Dean took a deep breath.

"Get some sleep Sam, we'll talk when you wakeup" he said and he regretted it immediately. He'd sounded bossy and patronising and he knew that Sam was loose cannon right now.

"No!" Sam said angrily, "Just no! I want you tell me everything, Dean! I'm remembering things and doing things that are completely impossible! Okay so don't you dare tell me to get some rest! All I want is answers! I remember the first case we went on Post-Stanford, the woman in white? That woman Constance? The bridge…all of it but it's just the beginning isn't it! Every time I get stuck on the image of Jess….of Jess…" Sam trailed off and started to gasp for breath and Dean panicked. He ran out of the room, screaming for help. But after that he kept on running. Until suddenly he crashed into something hard. He looked up to see what is was and found piercing blue eyes looking right back at him. Cas.

"What do you want?" Dean growled as he stepped away from Cas. "Let me pass!"

"Sam is my friend too," Cas said simply, "It's not just you. Don't you think that boy has been through enough, yeah he's angry, he has every right to be and it's up to you to make it right. And you can start by not running away again"

"Look, I've tried but he doesn't want me there," Dean argued as began to feel very tired.

"He's your brother Dean, and he's upset and confused," Cas said slowly and Dean fought back the urge to snap at him. "He's afraid that if he you stay, you'll just leave again whenever you feel like it"

Eventually Dean persuaded the nurses to let him stay with Sam overnight. He even persuaded one of the hotter nurses to get him a blanket so he could take a nap and he sat there throughout the rest of the day while he waited for Sam to wake up. As he waited he couldn't help remembering all the times he'd sat up and watched Sam when he was just a kid, when he'd been hurt…when he was sick. He realised that he cherished those memories and that he'd be lost without them. Dean couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to lose a part of yourself, to be completely vulnerable. And it was worse for Sam because compared to other people he led an over complicated life. How was Dean supposed to tell him everything? There was bound to be some things that Dean himself didn't even know. Like where Sam had been for the last year. There were certain things that Dean thought he wouldn't even be able to explain to Sam…like Adam.

Dean knew that if he wanted to he could tell Sam everything and influence Sam's thoughts and feelings on what had gone on over the years and he didn't want that. He didn't want there to be any more resentment between him and his little brother. They'd both been through more than enough.

* * *

Sam was dreaming, he knew he was but it all felt so real. He was walking down a long hallway, with a key in his hand. He reached a door but he couldn't make out the number on it. He pushed the key into the lock and turned it and the door swung open. As he entered the room the door was slammed shut and he was thrown against the wall.

"I know what you did! What you are…" a voice hissed as Sam tensed up, "And I'm going to be the one to put you out of your misery…I'll send you right back to where you came from" Sam pushed the person off him and threw them onto the ground his chest rising and falling as he breathed heavily,

"You don't know anything about me!" he hissed back and his attacker laughed bitterly,

"Oh I know something all right….I'm going to be the one who destroys you for good! Don't say I didn't warn you!" Sam stepped forward and grabbed the person's throat, just as his grip began to tighten his eyes flew open and he found himself panting and gasping for air. He looked around expecting to see and empty chair but Dean was there

"Dean!" he gasped, "I think I killed someone!"

Dean looked over at Sam and he frowned, if Sam only mostly remembered life up until he was 22 then…he could be talking about anyone. Even that hunter that he'd killed when he'd been possessed. Or any of the demons he'd killed for demon blood after all they'd all been possessing humans.

How the hell was he going to explain this to Sam?


	8. Chapter 8

The man stopped abruptly as he walked through the ward in the hospital. His eyes widened as he saw the man he'd been looking for. Sam Winchester. The guy who'd nearly ended the damn world.

"Well, I'll be damned." he said with a smirk. He wouldn't deal with this now, not when he was working another case. He'd be back tomorrow. But first he wanted to see the little prick. He held his head up high as he marched straight into the side room where they'd been keeping the boy. He made a show of ruffling through the notes at the foot of the bed as Sam stirred restlessly. He spotted a jacket spread over the back of the empty chair by Sam's bedside and the smirk returned. Sam _and _Dean Winchester? It was almost too good be true. He felt eyes on him and he looked up and saw Sam staring back at him with a terrified look on his face. To say that he was shocked would be an understatement. Though now that he thought about there was no way that Sam would have known if he'd survived or not. There hadn't been much in the notes but they'd stated that Sam had a sprained leg and some cuts and bruises on his face as well as bruising on his body. He hid a laugh as he wondered who the boy had pissed off this time.

"You're him!" Sam said suddenly and the man frowned, "But…I killed you!"

"Looks like you didn't buddy," He replied, "I'm alive and kicking, _Sam_ and I meant what I said to you all those months ago, I'll destroy you."

"Wh-Why? I don't understand." Sam whispered in a pathetic voice and the man fought back the urge to roll his eyes.

"You need to ask that? Are you yanking my chain? Making a mockery out of everything our profession stands for," He growled. "You started the-" before he could finish an icy voice cut him off,

"Get out"

* * *

Dean had just slipped out to get another coffee when he heard voices coming from Sam's room. He stood outside as he listened carefully as he realised that this guy knew where Sam had been for part of the past year. It was obvious though that they hadn't parted on good terms when Sam suddenly said that he'd killed the man. Dean thought that maybe he should have stepped in then, but he wanted to hear more.

"You need to ask that? Are you yanking my chain? Making a mockery out of everything our profession stands for, "He growled, "You started the-" before he could finish Dean cut him off.

"Get out," he said in an icy tone. "Or you really will be dead and they won't even find your body parts in the same state." The man looked like he wanted to say more but eventually he sneered at Dean before strolling out of the small hospital room. Dean suddenly wondered why there were no windows in here as he started to feel like he was suffocating. Sam had been this close to finding out that they were involved in nearly ending the world. Dean had to tell him, he had to because Sam would never forgive him if someone else did. He was just about to speak when Sam gasped and his hands flew up to his temple. His eyes were squeezed shut as if he was in pain and his entire body trembled. Dean didn't know what to do so he just stood there and watched as Sam's face flickered in confusion and pain.

_How long did you get?_

_One year_

_You shouldn't have done that_

_It's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel_

_It's hellfire Dean_

Sam went still has the voices died down inside his head. He was struggling to comprehend what he'd just remembered so he said the first thing that popped into his head,

"Dad's really dead?" Dean's eyes widened in shock as he realised what Sam was saying and he said,

"You remember that?"

"Not yet," Sam admitted unable to look Dean in the eye anymore, "But I remember that he sold his soul but I don't remember why…and then I remember that you sold your soul to and you got one year, But…I…I don't remember why"

_Maybe you just don't want to,_ a voice said in his head but Sam ignored it. He couldn't freak out now, he just couldn't.

"Sam, I want to tell…you…I do…but I can't, I can't influence your memories in anyway and I know that I wouldn't be able to stop myself and even if you say that you don't care, you will…when you finally remember it all for yourself you'll hate me," Dean argued and Sam sighed.

"And what happens if I never fully regain my memory?" Sam asked as he looked up at Dean. The expression on Dean's face told him exactly what he'd wanted to know. Dean didn't want him to remember.

"Is she buried somewhere?" he change the subject abruptly and Dean gave him a questioning look, "Jess…was she buried somewhere?" Dean swallowed audibly and nodded. Sam cleared his throat and asked,

"When I get out of here, will you take me to go and see her grave?"

* * *

Sam ended up leaving the hospital after two days, his face still covered in angry, purple bruises. He'd been given crutches for his leg and he grumbled about to anyone who listened to him. Dean had taken to ignoring him. There'd been a weird moment when they'd gotten into the Impala.

"It feel…strange being in here," Sam had said. "Maybe because it's been a long time…kind of." Dean hadn't said anything, he was lost in the memories of the last time he'd been in the car with Sam. In that moment he realised that he wanted Sam to remember. He needed Sam to remember.

He'd tried to start to tell Sam everything but Sam would change the subject each time and it was starting to piss Dean off.

He was out in Bobby's scrap yard having a beer when Castiel appeared and Dean glared at him,

"What?" he said unkindly and Cas sighed.

"Do you always have to be such a pain in the-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Dean interrupted, "And what's with the phrases, just talk normally!"

"Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, I was just trying to speak like you"

"Yeah….well don't"

"Noted. How is your brother doing?" Cas asked and Dean sighed,

"Okay. He wants to go and see Jess' grave…I don't know If it's such a good idea though but anyway don't change the subject why are you here?" Cas looked away guiltily,

"I was just trying to clear the air," he said, "And now it's clear" and with that he vanished. Dean frowned; he could have sworn that Cas was hiding something.

His thoughts randomly switched to the man that had been in Sam's hospital room. Dean had asked Bobby to ask around and they'd come up with a list of possible hunters who the man most resembled. But then Dean's curiosity had gotten the better of him and he'd found a bag of the clothes that Sam has been wearing when he'd been admitted to Mayfield when he first got the amnesia. He'd found a motel card in his pocket and it was for a motel in Detroit. That alone had raised Dean's suspicions. However Dean had a feeling that he was too late.

He froze as he realised that someone was there.

"Don't say a word," There was rustling sound and then the click of the safety being released from the gun and the person spoke again. "Take me to Sam now, Dean…or I'll kill Bobby Singer"


	9. Chapter 9

**_One month later._**

-Bobby's house-

_You're the one who started the apocalypse_. Dean wondered just how many times he had wished he could take back those words. After everything that had happened Sam had just shutdown. He hadn't said a word, he barely ate or drank he just sat there. It was like something had broken inside of him. Dean wasn't used to his giant of a brother seeming so small and fragile. Sam had always been full of hope, when he wasn't being a pain in the ass. He was optimistic, he always believed. Sam had always tried to do the right thing, no matter what. Dean knew that he was going to tell Sam everything, every last detail of the mess that had been their lives for 6 years. But he had to get Sam out of the house first. Maybe go to Jess' grave like Sam had wanted.

"Sam?" Dean tried to engage his brother in conversation yet again, "I'm going to tell you everything, I promise". Sam didn't budge an inch. He just sat there, his face a pale, unhealthy colour. His hazel eyes clouded with the shadows he was hiding behind. Dean sighed as he got up from the chair he'd been sitting in for the past 4 weeks. He left Bobby's library which was where Sam holed himself up, all day, every day. He assumed that maybe Sam looked at the books in there, but he knew that he was lying to himself. He was surprised to find Bobby hovering outside. Bobby looked the way Dean felt, tired and strained. He understood but disliked the empathy in Bobby's eyes. Sam being catatonic or whatever the hell he was putting a strain on both of them. Cas had dropped in a few times but he'd been vague and unusually quiet and quite frankly very unhelpful. Dean knew that Cas was hiding something but his main priority at the moment was Sam. He'd called Lisa a few times but all he'd gotten was her voicemail. He wasn't surprised.

"What if he was right?" Bobby's quiet voice broke into Dean's thoughts and Dean frowned,

"If who was right?" he asked not really liking just where this conversation was headed.

"He said…that Sam might not be Sam...that Lucifer could have escaped in the form of his true vessel.." Bobby explained and Dean sighed in frustrations. It's not like Dean hadn't thought this before but Bobby was always the one who believed in them being innocent until proven guilty. To hear Bobby say this about Sam, just made him angry because it's not like Sam was in the right frame of mind to defend himself.

"He was wrong, okay! That guy in there? He's my brother…he's Sammy. I've seen Sam when he was possessed and he's not, okay…there is no angel or demon inside of him so that man? He wasn't right, he didn't know what he was talking about."

"But-" Bobby attempted to speak once more but Dean cut him off,

"That guy wasn't even a hunter Bobby, he was just looking for revenge and Sam happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time."

[Flashback]

_Sam cursed under his breath as he saw Dean being ushered into the house kitchen through the backdoor. It was him. The man from his memories; the man from the hospital. He knew that he'd wronged the guy somehow, he just didn't know how. He grabbed his crutches and stood up shakily as they entered the living room area._

"_Let them go," he said. "It's me you want right?" Dean shot Sam a look that clearly said, 'Dude, shut the hell up' and Sam sent him one back that said, 'Just follow my lead'._

"_How long have you been a hunter?" Sam asked and the man froze for a few seconds before he regained his composure and jammed the gun closer to Dean's head._

"_Shut up or I'll blow his brains out," the man hissed and Dean glared at Sam as if to say, 'Are you insane?'_

"_Do you know what it's like to search for someone for months, not knowing where they are?" The man said slowly anger obvious in his tone, "You hunters or whatever you call yourselves make me sick…how can you justify killing innocent people the way you do?" Sam frowned slightly as his brain worked hard to keep up with what the man was saying. He was trying so hard to remember that he didn't even see the fist heading towards his face. His head jerked backwards as the man's fist connected with his face._

"What happened after that?" Bobby asked just as there was a loud crash from the library. There was a beat as the two of them looked at each other they're puzzled expressions mirrored in the other one's eyes. They rushed into the library to find Sam thrashing around on the floor as he screamed in agony. Dean shot Bobby a worried look as they stood in the doorway and watched as Sam came to life, but not in the way they'd wanted.

Only one thing stopped them from moving. This was exactly how Sam got when he was going through demon blood withdrawal.


	10. Chapter 10

Eventually Dean decided that he had two options, he could leave Sam and wait this…attack out or he could go over and try and calm him down. His head was telling him that the first option was the most practical but when it came to Sam all logic flew out of the window. He stepped forward and Bobby grabbed his arm,

"What if he does something?" he said and Dean yanked his arm away. He rushed over to Sam who had calmed down a little even though he was still thrashing round.

"Sam…can you hear me?" Dean said gently as he touched Sam's shoulder tentatively, "Sam...you're okay…I'm here.." Sam stopped moving suddenly and Dean froze as he waited to see what would happen next.

"D-Dean," Sam said in a small voice, "Is that you?" Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Sam speak. His joy was short lived when Sam said,

"I remember…I was here…and you…you and Bobby locked me up…I had this dream…or hallucination or whatever, felt like my entire body was on fire…" Dean glanced at Bobby only to find that he was no longer in the room. He barely resisted the urge to pull his hair out. So he did the next thing that was top of his list, he snapped.

"What the hell is wrong with you Sam!" he yelled, his voicing sounding harsh in his own ears but somehow he couldn't control what was coming out of his mouth, "You can just shut us out when you hear something you don't like! The Sam I know wouldn't do that! He would face up to what's happened not take the cowards way out! You think this is going to help you get your memory back? It won't Sam…so don't do it again…" Dean took a deep breath as he waited for Sam's reply. He was surprised when Sam just chuckled slightly.

"Next time, could you keep the volume down? I've got a headache." was all he said but Dean knew that Sam had gotten the message.

Later that night, when the sky was pitch black, with a full moon gleaming in the days wake, Sam asked about Lisa.

"So…how is she?"

"I don't know, haven't spoken to her…" Dean said as he shifted around uncomfortably and fiddled with the beer top he'd been holding.

"Well…why not? It's better to build bridges now Dean because when you go back-" Sam started to say and Dean shot him confused look.

"Whoa, whoa…when I go back? Are you insane? You know what don't answer that…the whole thing was your idea in the first place." he replied and it was Sam's turn to look confused.

"What?" he asked and Dean sighed,

"You came up with this stupid plan to send the devil back to hell…I only went along with it to get you to shut up, and Bobby and Cas though it was a good plan. If only I'd stopped you…anyway, you ambushed me in the car…said that when you'd gone, I should go back to Lisa and stay with her…that I shouldn't try to bring you back" Dean didn't see the point it dressing it up not when Sam already knew what had gone done in Lawrence a year ago.

"Oh," Sam said, "I see..." Dean didn't even bother to try and decipher Sam's tone, he changed the subject.

"So, while you were off in dreamland all those weeks, what was running through your head, midget clowns or something?" Dean said trying to keep his tone light. The last thing he wanted to do was to pressure Sam into telling him anything. But he wasn't an idiot…he knew about the nightmares Sam had even when he hadn't been talking. Deep down inside, he knew what Sam was dreaming of but he wanted to hear Sam say it.

"I know about the demon blood…and I keep on seeing…seeing hell…in my dreams…sometimes when I'm awake, I can feel the heat…feel my flesh burning and sizzling and I just want it to stop."

"I know how you feel," Dean responded simply and Sam's eyes widened in shock as he realised what that meant.

"I…saw that too…saw the hellhounds rip you apart and…" Sam trailed off as he wasn't sure how to continue, "I thought that maybe it was connected with the demon blood but I remember…we make a right pair don't we? We've both been to hell and back!" Dean smiled sadly,

"Heaven too.."

"Seriously?" Sam laughed in disbelief, "When did our lives become so complicated?"

"Only God knows. "Dean said with a wry smile and Sam chuckled,

"Literally…"

"Sam, this might not mean much right now…but I'm sorry." Dean said suddenly and Sam sat up quickly and Dean noticed for the first time that night just how sick Sam actually looked. He made a note in his mind to ask Sam about his pain meds later.

"For what?" Sam asked and Dean (not for the first time) wished that he could click his fingers and Sam would suddenly remember everything.

"For the last two years, man…I've said and done things that I shouldn't have, blamed you for things that I shouldn't have…you know part of me at first didn't want you to remember anything. I just wanted you to be my little brother again…but you're your own person…I'm sorry for abandoning you when you first called me…how did you get my number anyway?"

"I think one of the nurses found it on the cell phone I had with me when I was admitted…I don't know how it got on there" Sam said and Dean shrugged.

000000000

Castiel was pacing around in an empty street. He'd taken the precaution of disabling the lights within 50 square miles so that no one saw him. He was…thinking. He'd been watching Bobby's house closely and things just weren't adding up. The man looking for revenge as well as Sam's memory loss. Cas' question was why now? Why after all this time was everything happening at once? The answer was obvious, to cover something up. Someone somewhere was up to something. He didn't know what exactly but he had some ideas. It was Lucifer, it had to be. That would explain why Sam was still so weak and maybe why he'd had the hallucination. Contrary to Sam and Dean's beliefs, it hadn't been a memory. It'd been real. Cas wanted to believe that Sam was who he said he was but the angels in heaven had been restless ever since they'd discovered that Sam was alive. There'd been whispers of Sam feigning the memory loss so that they wouldn't try and kill him. So Cas had come to a decision, the last thing he needed was to be overthrown in heaven. He needed to reaffirm his authority.

Sam wasn't Sam anymore, not really and that left Cas with no choice, he had to kill him.


	11. INTERLUDE

Crowley had always believed that he was just your average guy. Or well, demon. But let's not be picky. He was just one of those people who lived in the moment. He knew how to mind his own business and he knew when to make things his business. Besides now that Sam Winchester was out it was probably better he stayed out of sight and out of mind. He'd already had to dispose of some low pay grade demons and quite frankly, it was messy and a _huge _waste of his time. But out of sight and out of mind has always been a moronic concept, thought of by a bloody moron in the first place.

There was just something about those Winchester boys that made them special. And if they didn't despise everything they stood for, he might have even admired them. Crowley had been around the block a few times and Sam and Dean weren't the first humans to get caught up in this heaven and hell business. Oh no. But they were the bravest. He wondered if their bravery justified them being morons or not.

He'd heard some whispers about how and why Sam was back but when he put the information all together he came to the conclusion that no one actually knew what they were talking about. So he'd resigned himself to idiot watch for the time being. At the moment it was the usual ansgsty-bromance crap. He wondered if Sam was more or less irritating without his memory. Probably less. And of course, that angel kept on showing up. Crowley wondered what his game was. He wondered what the _angels_ game was. They'd been quiet of late.

He sighed, Bobby Singer had been hassling him for months anyway. He just wondered how the world would survive without him.

It was time for him to try and sort this mess out.


	12. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the long delay! Hope you enjoy! Please let me know if you're confused by anything...I think some of this might be a bit unclear but maybe that's what I intended? I don't know...I need to put my "Pieces" thinking cap on ~~ **

* * *

Days passed by and Sam seemed to be back to normal even though he was still pale and sick looking. Dean had actually found Sam's pain meds stashed behind Bobby's creaky old toilet but he hadn't said anything. He didn't have the heart to call Sam up on it when it seemed like they were finally making progress. It was like for the first time in a long time they were just talking…just being brothers again. At least until Cas showed up, then everything changed again.

Dean was sharpening one of his knives in Bobby's kitchen when Cas walked in through the back door. Dean snorted,

"Since when did you use doors? You do realise that only we mere mortals do crazy stuff like that?" Cas didn't even blink at Dean's joke and Dean sobered up quickly his smile falling of his face.

"What is it?" he asked as Cas just looked at him without saying a word, "Cas seriously, you're freaking me out, what is it?" Cas simply gave him a pained look but he still didn't answer, his eyes seemed to widen as he spotted something behind Dean. Dean spun around to see Sam standing in the doorway with a frightened look on his face. It was almost as if Cas and Sam were having a silent conversation in a language that Dean just didn't understand.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" he said angrily and that seemed to bring Cas out of his trance.

"Dean, take Sam and go somewhere, anywhere…where I won't be able to find you," Cas said without taking his eyes off Sam.

"What? Why?" Dean asked, his frustration evident in his voice. Cas looked as though he _really _didn't want to answer the question and Dean wanted to pull his hair out. Just when he thought that things were getting better. He was surprised when Sam was the one to speak up,

"Tell him! He deserves to know!" Sam practically yelled at Cas and Dean shot a confused glance at Sam,

"Take it easy Sam.."

"No! Just no…Tell him!" Sam hissed and Dean frowned. What the hell did Sam know? And _how _did he know? Unless his psychic thing had kicked in; and it was a new version that worked on _angels_.

"Fine," Cas said, his voice cold and expressionless. "I'm here to kill Sam" Dean's blood ran cold.

"What?" he said in horror as Cas finally turned to look at him, "What do you mean you're here to kill him? After everything he did for us…you want to just…what the hell Cas?"

"It's for the greater good Dean, I know you won't understand but Sam's return is very inconvenient, I cannot risk another rebellion in heaven and that's where things are heading. I need to be the one to finish this, but I'm giving you a chance, you run and as long as I don't find you…Sam stays alive, I find you and…that's it."

"That's bull, Cas and I think you know it! I thought you were our friend…I don't care about this chance you're giving us…Sam stopped the apocalypse for you and your douchewad brothers and this is how you all thank him?"

"I'm sorry, "Cas replied. "You have 48 hours" and he was gone. Dean clenched his fists as tight as he could just to prevent himself from lashing out at anything. It was pretty late and Bobby was asleep so he didn't want to disturb the poor guy…he had to make sure he left some sort of note for Bobby when they left. Just to think, a few days of progress wiped out by some stupid angels. It just wasn't Dean's day.

As they hit the road, Sam panicked, he didn't know what was happening, his mind was doing things that were freaking impossible and now he was some sort of fugitive on the run from the angels. Angels! He just couldn't quite grasp everything but all he knew was that he wasn't going to bring Dean down with him. Maybe he could make a run for it by himself, he'd be okay. Wouldn't he? He could sense Dean shooting him worried looks but he ignored them as he tried to figure out some sort of plan.

Sam was hearing this…voice…it was saying things to him, poisoning his mind. Goading him and telling him things that couldn't possibly be true. He supposed that the voice had been there since he'd woken up with no memories but now he could hear it clearly. Sam didn't really know what to do, or what was happening but he wasn't going to get Dean caught up in his mess again.

_You're a killer Sam, you always have been. Always. _The same line was repeated over and over inside his mind until Sam couldn't think anymore, he couldn't breathe. He gripped his ears as he tried to block out the voice. He _wasn't_ a killer, it wasn't true. There was a loud shatter and suddenly, everything went black.

Dean looked on in horror was the windowscreen of the Impala simply just shattered, the glass crumbling and scattered all over the interior, shards of glass now sprinkled over him and his unconscious brother,

"_Fuck," _he hissed under his breath as he pushed down on the gas pedal and sped up. Things were spinning out of control so fast that Dean could barely remember how this had all started. God, he hadn't even checked up on Ben and Lisa in days. He shook his head as he tried to focus on the situation here and now. He had to find a motel where he could check over Sam and regain some composure. _Or you could just leave him _a voice cut into his thoughts and the car swerved dangerously as he struggled to clear his head. But he couldn't, the cold, steady voice continued to whispers hushed words into his ears, planting things into his mind.

"No…" Dean choked out as he was overwhelmed with a mix of different emotions. He struggled to keep the Impala straight as he tried to refocus on Sam. He assumed that Sam had been hearing the voice too. But that didn't explain why there'd been a flash of light emitted from Sam just before the wind screen had shattered.

Dean could feel his eyes closing and he blinked rapidly to try and keep them alert and open but his eyelids were heavy and he felt himself slipping away.

"Damn it Cas, you asshole," Dean murmured as he lost control of the Impala and succumbed to the darkness. The only thing that pierced the eerie silence was the loud crash that followed.


	13. Chapter 12

When Dean opened his eyes, his instant thought was that he seriously need to shut them again and go back to wherever he'd been. He felt like he'd had an argument with a sledgehammer. And lost, badly. His second thought was that...he wasn't dead. Which probably should have been his first thought but it's not like anyone was keeping a record of this right? So he'd made it out of the wreck alive, he could still hear the deafening screech of the metal bending on impact as he'd lost control of the wheel. His third thought was Sam. _Sam._ Dean sat up quickly and regretted it instantly. After shaking himself for a few seconds to regain some composure he looked up and found himself looking straight into a pair of dark, brown eyes. He flinched and inched as far back as he could on what he now knew was a bed, somewhere. God, he didn't even know where they were. He groaned as a fresh wave of nausea hit him. He frowned as he took a closer look at the person. First things first it was a chick. So he couldn't rule out crazy, psycho chick.

"Excuse me?" And apparently he'd said that out loud. She had long, dark hair and tanned, olive skin. But Dean didn't really care about the details; he just wanted to know where he was and where his brother was.

"Where the hell is my brother?" he yelled angrily but she didn't even flinch. She just sat back down in the broken down, tattered arm chair that was placed by the window. Dean's eyes widened in surprise when he saw her pick up a car magazine and begin to flip through it. Was she serious?

"Well, hello to you too," she said, almost as if it was an afterthought. Dean winced as her loud voice rang through his ears. Hello? That was all she could say? He was suddenly aware of a thick smell in the air and, it was _nasty._

"And what the hell is that smell?" he bit out in annoyance and the chick sighed and flipped another page.

"That would be Sasquatch over there. He's been puking non-stop. Vile, isn't it?" Dean's eyes widened. Sasquatch? Sam was here? He looked over to his right and breathed a sigh of relief as he spotted a second bed. He finally realised that they were in some sort of motel room. It was a standard room, like the ones that they'd stayed in most of the time. Two beds, a crappy TV. Oh and...magic fingers. But all of those minor details escaped his mind when he saw the sight of Sam lying on the bed. His face was pale, whitish colour and he looked so _small_.

"What the hell did you do to him?" Dean asked angrily, "And who the _hell _are you anyway?" The chick rolled her eyes and carried on flipping through her magazine. Dean saw red and he reached out to the bedside drawer and pushed the glass of water that lay there to the floor, closing his eyes briefly as it smashed. The sound brought back memories of the crash and he swallowed hard and tried to ignore it as he will himself to calm down.

"Name's Darcy, "The chick - Darcy - said, "You didn't have to break anything to get it out of me but some manners would have been nice. I could be anybody and the first thing you'd do is rile me up? Have to say, you're not living up to your reputation so far, Dean." Dean just sighed as he clenched his fists in frustration.

"I'm a hunter - like you and Sam, you crashed about three days ago and-"

"Wait-," Dean paused as Darcy gave him an icy look and he flushed and mumbled, "Sorry...jeez...just wanted to ask if you knew of a Bobby Singer?"

"Bobby Singer? Who doesn't know that asshole?" Darcy said with a snort and Dean frowned.

"So I take it that you're not on speaking terms with him?" he asked.

"Nope. So if you want to call him, call him yourself - when you get to a phone, yours is kind of...gone."

"Gone?"

"Is there an echo in here?" Darcy asked in an irritated tone as she turned back to her car magazine. Dean pulled a face at her and scowled when she flipped him off.

Two hours later and Sam still hadn't woken up and Dean was...confused. Why was he here? How had Darcy saved them? Or had she? There were just so many questions running through his mind and he didn't really see how he was going to get answers from this seemingly uptight bitch.

"Oh just spit it out, that look you have on your face is really irritating," Darcy said in a bored tone. Apparently she was done with the car magazine at last.

"How…are we here?" Dean asked, "We were in the car, it crashed, why aren't we _dead _or you know in hospital or something?

"I can't tell you..." Darcy paused as she turned to look Dean in the eyes, "But I'm going to anyway, it's all down to Crowley. The stupid son of a bitch brought us here. I can't believe he got one over on me! Ugh."

"How did he...get one over on you?" Dean said curiously, "You seem like the type to put up a decent fight."

For the first time since Dean had laid eyes on Darcy she looked almost embarrassed.

Now he really wanted to know.

"I wanted to know about...Sam and you know, whether or not he was a threat or not. Half of the hunters are forming all sorts of coalitions as they try to piece the puzzle together. I went after Crowley. Who I've tried to kill 17 times. So, my curiosity got the better of me this once. He left me here with you, told me to patch you up or else."

"Or else what?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know? Maybe we should ask Sam when he wakes up; he's in tune with Demon FM after all!"

"Ask me what?" A sleepy voice said and Darcy and Dean both turned to look at Sam who was sitting up slowly a hand pressed to his side. Dean's eyes widened as he saw that blood was seeping through Sam's shirt.

"Is this what you call patching us up?" Dean fumed as he rushed over to Sam's side to check the wound which wasn't bleeding and he realised that the blood on Sam's shirt was dry. He turned to Darcy to apologize but she put her hands up and said,

"Just save it!" She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "I need to get out of here!"

"Why can't you?" Dean asked in a confused tone.

"A binding spell, she can't leave...and neither can we..." Sam mumbled. Darcy and Dean turned to look at him and Sam shrugged.

"And how the hell do you know that?" Darcy asked as she ignored Dean's warning look.

"Because...I can see them. I can see the binds...I don't know how but I can…" Sam replied his voice low and unsure.

"Well aren't you a smart little boy," an amused voice came from the door way startling the three people present in the room. Crowley. "Ah, you're all awake! My favourite morons all in one place. Awake and_ alive_ and that's only because of me, so let's get one thing straight"

"Would you listen to yourself?" Darcy said with an eye roll, "Just let me go and you can deal with these – well I'll agree with you on this one thing – they are morons"

"Hey!" Dean protested because the girl had some nerve! He huffed as he turned to Crowley and said, "What's going on Crowley?"

Crowley disappeared for a few seconds and then reappeared with a glass of – what Dean thought looked like Scotch – in his hands. He downed the glass and said,

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

"Give us the good news," Darcy said straightaway and Dean got angry,

"Who asked you? This has _nothing _to do with you!" he yelled.

"That's where you're wrong, I'm obviously here for a reason not to mention the fact that I patched you and your brother up and watched over you for three days. So if you don't want me to knock you back out I suggest you never raise your voice at me again and learn the meaning of gratitude."

Dean didn't reply he just looked away and glared at Sam when he saw that he was smirking.

"Feisty, little devil isn't she?" Crowley said with a grin, "And a pretty good hunter but let's keep that between us"

"I remember you," Sam said suddenly. "You and Dean...you left me and...I wanted to kill you...I can't remember the details but I remember that much – I don't like you."

"So much for starting over, I'm heartbroken Sammy." Crowley smirked at Sam before turning away.

"The good news is that, I managed to get away without the angels realising that I'd gate-crashed their little meeting," Crowley said and Darcy snorted

"Not what I'd call good news," she said.

"The bad news is that...I don't really know the logistics of it all but some of the angels have gone rogue, they want Sam dead...and they've come up with a bloody marvellous plan if I do say so myself. Only thing is that the idiots should know by now that it won't work but it's not going to stop them from trying."

"What plan?" Sam asked with look of fear on his face, "What do they want to do with me?"

"They want to use you as a sort of human bomb – force you down into hell and use you destroy every last inch of it."

"And what would happen to Sam?" Dean asked his voice merely a whisper.

"He'd be destroyed too." There was silence in the room as they all digested the information. Sam was reeling as he tried hard to understand what it meant for him but without all of his memories intact he was just left feeling confused and weird. Dean was angry. Angry that Cas hadn't told him this. That he couldn't control his stupid angel buddies. And Darcy?

"So...hang on a minute, you really did lose your memory?" she asked Sam who looked up suddenly with a frown on his face. Dean and Crowley turned to look at her with bewildered expressions on their faces.

"What?" she said. "It was just a question...so...can I go now?"

Dean seriously wanted to kill her.


	14. Chapter 13

They'd been cooped up in the motel room for a week, and still the situation hadn't changed. Dean was frustrated because he wanted to know what was going to happen to his brother. Sam was frustrated because he couldn't remember anything that was important.

Darcy was just frustrated.

Dean was sitting on his bed trying to fix his broken cell even though he knew it was a goner. He'd found it in the trash along with a whole bunch of other stuff. He really wished he had the Impala so that he could get his spare cell and some stuff from the trunk. It was either that or...asking Darcy. Which he really didn't want to have to do. But apparently she had some sort of sixth sense or something because she got up and handed him a cell and said,

"Here, you can use this...I still have Bobby's number – don't tell him though, I'm still not talking to him," and Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise. Choosing not to comment on the fact that she was actually being nice for once he said,

"What did Bobby ever to do you?"

"Honestly? I can't remember, but I'm good at keeping grudges it's how I survive."

"That's a load of bull you know, you can't go around pissing people off, it'll get you into trouble – like now!" Dean said with a smirk.

"That's funny because all you two seem to do is piss people off, or worse piss each other off and put us all in danger," Darcy shot back with a cold look.

"You mean the apocalypse?" Sam asked suddenly and both Dean and Darcy turned to look at him. Dean's look was quizzical whereas Darcy's left eyebrow was raised.

"I want you to tell me what you now...about all of that...seeing as how Dean refuses to," Sam said and Darcy chuckled. The kid had some nerve, she thought, even if he didn't remember.

"No," was all she said and she thought she saw Dean shoot her an appreciative look. Where the hell was Crowley? She was more than willing to forgo trying to kill him just this once if he let her go. She looked back at Sam and an idea formed in her mind. Sam had that whole psychic power thing going on right? Or so she'd heard.

"I'll do you a deal, you get us out of these binds and I'll try and fill in anything you want to know," Darcy said. "No pressure though"

"It's not worth it Sam, not when we don't even know what's wrong with you!" Dean said as he shot Darcy and angry look.

Dean didn't even want to think about how long they'd been stuck in this crappy motel room. He just wanted to sleep for like a month. But instead he called Bobby, hell he should have called him the second he'd gotten the phone but Darcy was a pain in his ass. The call didn't go through, he tried again and he frowned as he got the automated voice. As he cut off the phone started to ring again and Darcy rushed forward and grabbed it.

"Hello!" she called down the receiver, "Yes...yes they're here...yeah he showed up...I'll tell you when I get back...I don't like them...no, he really doesn't remember...okay...talk to you later."

Dean frowned as she hung up and placed the phone on the crooked table that was in the centre of the room.

"Who was that?" he asked. Darcy didn't answer. She just sank back down into the crappy armchair that she'd been sitting on.

"Dean...just leave it..." Sam said with a wince...his head was starting to hurt again.

_Bring him back_

_[Memories of Dean dying over and over again.]_

_(The loud roar of the...hellhounds as they ripped into him...and a woman – no demon...)_

"Hey buddy? Snap out of it!" a loud voice came ringing through Sam's ears and the fog in his head started to clear as he tried to regain his breath. His eyes flew open and he found himself face to face with Darcy.

"Whenever you get the memories...stay focused. Don't lose yourself in the memory, because trust me if you never get them back you'll be constantly...lost. Just keep focused on who you are now." she said as she looked at her watch.

"Okay, so I'll explain once we're away from here but we're getting out of here I'm just waiting for-"

"You may be going elsewhere but Sam Winchester will not be leaving this room," a voice said and all three of them turned around to see Cas standing by the door.

"I'm here to kill him."

_Sam was sitting by the bar, a warm, stale beer in front of him as he tried once again to literally drown his sorrows._

"_You're going to need something stronger than beer," a voice said and Sam looked up for the briefest second before going back to staring at his beer._

"_I'm not interested," he said coldly, his voice quiet and lifeless. The woman snorted and said,_

"_Don't flatter yourself Sam...you look and smell like you haven't showered for a week, I'm not that desperate honey."_

"_Who are you? How do you know my name?" Sam growled angrily and she snorted._

"_Who doesn't know the infamous Sam Winchester, "she said before clearing her throat, "I'm sorry about Dean, but I'm here to warn you."_

"_Warn me about what?_

"_What you're doing with your demon girlfriend – Ruby – it'll only get you into more trouble."_

"_You don't know what you're talking about," Sam slurred after a pause but he looked up to see that the woman had gone._

"We've met before Darcy," Sam said as he slowly regained his focus, "At a bar...in...I can't remember wear...I was pretty out of it and –

"Not now Sam," Dean and Darcy hissed at the same time and Sam held back his groan of frustration.

Sam didn't care if an angel wanted to kill him, he just wanted to remember everything. He hated feeling like some sort of invalid, like there was something that everyone knew apart from him and godammit he wanted to know. It was like his entire life had been scattered into pieces and he was trying to shove the jigsaw back into place but the pieces didn't fit anymore.

Sam was thrown out of his thoughts when Dean was sent flying backwards into a wall. He looked up and saw that Castiel was heading straight for him. He glanced over to where Dean was and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Dean was conscious – pissed as hell – but at least he was conscious.

"I'm not scared of you Castiel," Sam said in the strongest, fearless voice that he could muster. He frowned when he saw the faraway look in Cas' eyes. Like...there was no presence, just a vessel. Sam started to back up as Cas approached him.

"L-look Cas, they're wrong...I'm not who they say I am...god, why is this happening to me! I'm just me! Sam Winchester...and apparently I'm responsible for most of this mess but I'm trying...when I get my memory back...I'm going to try and right and my wrongs...just please...don't do this..." Sam pleased as he shut his eyes tightly.

He didn't see Cas nodding slightly at Darcy. He didn't see Darcy pull out a blade and slice her palm open before carving an enochian symbol in the wall.

However, Dean did.


	15. Chapter 14

"So I guess I have a lot of explaining to do right?" Darcy said once Cas had vanished and Dean simply glared at her, "He wasn't supposed to show up unless Crowley figured us out so we have to get out of here," Dean didn't say a word and the tension in the room got thicker and the silence was calculated and awkward. For some reason, Sam took pity on her and said,

"Uhm...lead the way," ignoring the angry look that Dean sent his way. However Sam was less concerned about that, he just needed to leave this stuffy room and get some fresh air.

Some fresh perspective on everything; so that he'd be able to work on remembering things. And at this point being phased by anything wouldn't help his situation so he was ignoring the fact that this woman who was a complete stranger had just...caused an angel to vanish? He was also ignoring the murderous look on his brother's face. Sam wondered if he should have been angry as well.

"I have a confession to make," Darcy said with a sheepish expression on her face and Sam would have laughed if the air in the room wasn't stone cold. Oddly enough he thought that he preferred her little tough act. It reminded him of someone, but he didn't quite know who. "I've kinda had these the whole time..." she held up a set of keys. Sam frowned as he realised that they were the keys to the Impala. He looked at Dean and saw that his brother's face was still twisted up in anger.

"I can't believe I drew the short straw...never again," Darcy mumbled, "Look, take your keys and we'll go get the car and hell we'll hash this out on our way to the base. Either way, I'm not sticking around for Crowley to come back and find us," Dean still didn't say anything so Sam cleared his throat and said,

"Dean, come on, I don't know about you but I'd really like to get out of here." Dean walked over to Darcy and snatched the keys from her outstretched hands and he strode over to the door, flung it open and then left. Sam turned to Darcy only to find that she was staring at him with an odd expression on her face, like...she was going through a moment of realisation.

"What?" Sam asked in a curious tone and she tilted her head to the side and said,

"I don't know...it's just you two, there's something about the way you interact that makes you both different," she said before she sighed and looked Sam in the eyes and said. "I'm sorry for all of this, for using you and Dean...we just wanted to know what Crowley had to say for himself."

"Well, why didn't you just get him by himself? Why use us as bait?" Sam asked.

"Are you kidding? The only reason why he didn't kill me was because he wanted you, look, all that stuff he said about the angels was...not strictly true" Darcy explained.

"You mean they don't want to use me as some sort of human bomb?" Sam said in an almost indifferent tone that caused Darcy to peer at him suspiciously.

"You totally just used the puppy dog thing on me!" She said in irritated voice. "Come on let's go," she huffed as she made her way towards the door. Sam smirked to himself, at least he remembered how to_ that. _The smirk fell off his face as he realised that she'd dodged his question. But still he didn't think it was worth getting angry over. Although every instinct in him was pointing towards anger, Sam just wanted to take all of this on board in a calm, rational manner. He got the feeling that while that might have been how he dealt with things six years ago but it had changed somehow. He sighed. Although they were in an incredibly fucked up situation, Sam was kind of glad to see the Impala again. It was home to him, it always would be.

But he could feel the tension radiating in waves. Darcy was sitting in the passenger seat pointedly ignoring Dean as he glared at her. Sam had to stifle a laugh. He jogged over to the Impala and he slid into the backseat quickly. He frowned though as he suddenly remembered that they'd been in a wreck not long before. How was the Impala still in one piece?

"So...you managed to fix the car this fast?" he asked and he was met by Dean's stony glare.

"Oh no...here's the thing Sam, we didn't frickin' crash in the first place!" Dean snarled. Sam just frowned and looked at Darcy who was staring out of the window. "I'm not going anywhere until she gets out"

"Just...drive Dean," Sam said and Dean shot him a look of surprise. Sam shrugged because it's not like they were going to get anywhere if they sat here and argued in the car.

"Look, if I was you then I wouldn't want me in my car either but if you want answers we have to go," Darcy said her voice lacking its usual heat. Dean just glanced at before sighing and starting the Impala up.

The "base" turned out to be a three storey house in some sort of back end street. It was submerged by huge trees, with thick trunks that provided a blanket of secrecy for the house. There were three huge trucks parked outside and a smart looking black car in the actual parking space. Sam raised an eyebrow because this place must have cost a _lot. _Dean whistled as he pulled up and he turned to Darcy and said,

"So who owns this place?"

"I do," she replied. "Come on let's get inside as quick as possible, we're better protected inside." she looked outside of the window as she finished talking.

"Protected from what?" Dean asked in a stubborn voice and Darcy sighed. Sam glanced at Dean and said,

"From Crowley...we can't trust him Dean," Sam said. "Look let's just go and see what this is all about and we'll figure out what our next move is" Dean still didn't look sure but Sam shot him a pleading look. But from the glint in Dean's eyes Sam knew that he wouldn't budge and he sighed.

"Look, your amnesiac brother just asked that you hear us out...just do this for him," Darcy said in an irritated voice and Sam was rather annoyed that she'd used him as a way of getting Dean to relent, but he supposed she was right. Dean sighed and he opened his door,

"I suppose you better lead the way," he said as he shut the door and started to walk down the pathway leading towards the front door. Darcy got out quickly and sped out after him. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Don't wait up then," he muttered sarcastically.

By the time he reached the door he saw that it'd been left ajar and that Darcy and Dean were apparently already inside. He pushed the door open and the first thing he noticed was an odd smell in the air.

"Dean?" he called as he walked through the hallway slowly as he observed what looked like expensive furnishing.

"I-In here," Dean's voice came from within one of the rooms on the lower floor and Sam found that the front room was the first room on the right. He gasped when he entered, there were six bodies strewn on the floor. The one thing that they all had in common was that they were all covered in blood. Well that and the fact that they were dead. He turned to Dean and they shared a look. Sam turned and only realised that Darcy was in the room with them. He frowned when he saw the look in her face; it was dejected and..._scared _almost.

"Crowley did this," she said finally her voice quiet but still laced with anger. "This time I will kill him myself...I'll rip him into pieces". She started to pace around the room as she wringed her hands repeatedly.

"Why would Crowley do this?" Dean asked. "Not long ago he was telling us about the angel's plans to turn my brother into a freaking bomb!" Darcy flinched as Dean's voice rose and Sam couldn't help himself; he felt sorry for her. He knew what it was like to find people you cared about slaughtered and bleeding all over the ground. It wasn't a walk in the park.

"B-because we tricked him, okay? Your angel buddy came to us and told us to spy on him...they fed him that information so that they'd be able to tell if he was somehow listening in on their angel radio or something" Darcy said shakily as she tried to recall just what had went on, "He promised that we would all be okay and that we'd be safe...that son of a bitch."

"What about that stunt in the motel room?" Sam asked suddenly and Darcy wiped away the stray tears that had fallen out of her eyes and replied,

"It was a signal for when something went wrong...he couldn't even warn me..." she said and Sam frowned.

"So...the angels don't want to use me as a bomb to destroy hell?" he asked, "Because I'm confused here.."

"I don't know," Darcy confessed. "We only agreed because we wanted to suss you out, see if you were for real or not and I think you've proved yourself...well for now at least."

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean demanded and Darcy sighed deeply as she ran a hand through her hair.

"We thought that Sam was already set in place as the "bomb". His memories were wiped off so that he was dormant for now but, he'd become more dangerous as he remembered more, but then we realised that the memories might not necessarily be the trigger and that..." she trailed off as she looked at Sam guiltily.

"And?" Dean prompted

"We thought that Sam wasn't the real Sam Winchester, just someone – _something _else pretending to be him."


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N**: **Thanks again for those of you who have stuck with this! This is officially, the longest thing I've ever written! *squee* **

**This chapter explores some of Darcy's back story. I fear that I may have messed up my tenses a little bit but I'll want to get this up for you guys ;)**

**Hope you like! **

* * *

**Chapter 15**

_July 1991_

_It's a cold, dark night and the wind is howling into the night. Even though it's nearly midnight Darcy can tell from the small glass pane at the top of her door that at least one of the lights in the house are still on. She sighs, as she wonders if she should go and check it out. She's knows what room it will be because this is been a recurring event for the past five years. Her uncle – who looks after them – isn't here so she supposes that no one will notice. Except her. She's the only one who this bothers, who's worried that this isn't an illness...this isn't a phase. She's only 13 years old, why the hell would they take her seriously? Anytime she brings up something out of the ordinary all she gets is a pitying look. But she doesn't want pity, she wants someone to confide in, someone she can trust. Someone who'll at least answer her back._

_She climbs out of her bed and quietly pulls the door open; she tiptoes across the hallway to the room with light protruding from it. As she presses her ear to the door she swears that she can hear the faint sound of a pen tip scratching furiously on paper. See, she has a sister – not that anyone would know. Her uncle insists on keeping her hidden away, he says that it's in her best interests but Darcy knows that he's lying. When she was younger she used to wonder why her sister – Annie – never said anything. She used to think it was her fault, maybe if she'd been a better sister then Annie would still talk, she'd be full of life like she used to be. But now, she just doesn't know. Annie hasn't said a single word in five years – not since the accident that killed their parents. House fire. Darcy can barely remember it – mostly because she wasn't there. Maybe if she'd been there then Annie wouldn't be this way. _

_Shortly after the accident, Annie's birthday had come up. Darcy had been so desperate to get her to say something that she bought her sister a black, leather bound notebook with some of the money that she'd saved up for a new game. The game wasn't important anymore, not when there was something wrong with her sister. To this day she'd swear that Annie's eyes had lit up for just a few seconds when she'd given it to her. _

"_Even if you can say stuff out loud, maybe you can write it all down?" Darcy had suggested even though she knew that Annie probably wouldn't, she'd just sit there and say nothing like she'd been doing for the past few weeks. But to her surprise, within days the notebook had been filled with Annie's neat, small handwriting and Darcy bought her another one. Of course she was curious about what her sister had written but she figured that if Annie wanted her to read it, she'd let her know somehow._

"Well?" Dean said sharply jolting Darcy out of her memories. It was weird that she'd remembered that at that moment, she knew that she was forgetting something but she couldn't remember what.

"What?" she said as she rubbed at her eyes tiredly, everything was starting to become mixed up in her mind and she knew that she needed some sleep, but she couldn't stay here. For the first time in a long time, she felt completely alone. Usually she could push her feelings to one side and not let it cloud her perspective on things but for some reason her guard was down and she just couldn't focus. Maybe it was because seven innocent people had died because of her. Darcy didn't really do friends, but if she did then all seven of them would have been good friends to have. A pang of remorse went through her as she realised that she'd have to bury them at some point.

"What the fuck did you mean?" Dean said once more, "About something pretending to be Sam" Darcy frowned and said,

"It's not a completely alien idea, Sam could easily be some sort of shape shifter or doppelganger who knows...we just thought that maybe the real Sam was out there and it was just a case of figuring out which one was a bigger threat"

"Elaborate please," Sam said quietly as he tried to take in this information. He was surprised to find himself believing that what she said could be true. After all he'd killed those demons with...his mind or something. No doubt there was something inside him. What if he was dangerous?

"We have a post-hell Sam who'd be damaged, broken and probably pissed and we have you, no memories of the last six years but somehow your demonic powers or whatever are manifesting" Darcy said without skipping a beat and something clicked in Sam's mind.

"You know, don't you," he said suspicion clear in his tone. Dean turned to look at him but Sam ignored him, he really didn't want to know what Dean thought about all of this right now. Not unless Dean was willing to fill in all the blanks first.

"That I have demon blood in me-" Sam started to say but Dean cut him off as he said,

"You remember that?" in weird tone and Sam shrugged, "Yes I did...though it wasn't that hard to figure out Dean...you know...you can't protect me from the basic facts" he looked at Dean and he saw the fear in Dean's eyes and somehow he understood. Dean was trying to protect him from the truth but life just didn't happen that way, "But maybe Darcy can help me fill in the blanks"

Darcy met Sam's gaze head on and she didn't look away and her face remained indifferent and suddenly Sam feels anger coursing through his veins. He's so tired of being out of the loop. He's tired of blaming himself for starting something that he can barely remember. And he's sick of Darcy's mind games. He has a feeling that he and Dean are just pawns in whatever fucked up game she's playing with them. Sam stepped forward and grabbed her upper arm,

"Maybe, it's you we should be worried about, how are we supposed to believe a word you've said...you seem to know everything about us but we know nothing about you, are you even who you say you are," he said menacingly as his gripped her arm tighter.

"Get off me!" Darcy said furiously but Sam noticed that she wasn't really struggling that much, he took a few seconds to glance at her and he saw that her face was pale and that her eyes were bloodshot. But he was blindsided by the anger, "Why would I tell you two the truth? Anyone who has anything to do with you either ends up dead of on the verge of death – I can't afford to let that happen not before I k-" she stopped abruptly as she tried to free herself from Sam's grip once more.

Sam turned to look at his brother, who had been uncharacteristically silence and he frowned when he saw that Dean was on his cell his hands moving frantically as he explained something to the person on the other line. All he saw as he turned back to face Darcy was her fist as it impacting with his face. His grip loosened as stumbled backwards and she turned and ran out of the room and down the darkened hallway. Sam grimaced as he tried to follow her but Dean grabbed his arm and said,

"Dude, we have to go...just got off the phone with Bobby and he says Crowley knows we're here, he's also mentioned something about some books? Said that they're here somewhere..."

"And?" Sam said as he prodded the area of his face that surrounded his right eye. It just wasn't his year.

"AND, this house is guarded, completely demon proof – if you were a demon and you wanted something in here what would you do?"

"Well...something quick and effective, something that would break any devil's traps or disrupt salt lines, hell I'd burn the place..." Sam paused as his eyes widened in realisation, "What about Darcy?"

"What about her?" Dean asked, "For all we know, she's in on this, hell she's probably well away from here by now" Sam frowned because he didn't think that was the case...hell he didn't want her to be right about people dying around them. Before he could say anymore Dean grabbed him by his jacket collar and started to drag him out of the room, he managed to shrug him off as they jogged down the main hallway and through the front door – which was shut, indicating that no one had left. He paused as they reached the doorway and he yelled,

"Darcy, this place isn't safe! Get out of here now!" as loud as he could before he turned to follow Dean as they raced down the porch. Just as they reached the end there was faint whistling sound just before a loud bang erupted into the darkness and Sam and Dean ducked down and jumped out of the way as fast as they could. Sam kept his hands covered over his head as he heard the sound of debris collapsing. He could feel little fragments of debris sprinkling down around him – it sounded like heavy rain and sand falling at the same time and he didn't dare look up just yet. Sam exhaled slowly as he tried to calm his rapid heartbeat.

* * *

**To be continued. **


	17. Chapter 16

Sam was standing outside in Bobby's yard with a bottle of water in his hands. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd missed something. Maybe Darcy was trapped beneath the rubble of the house that had crumbled due to the force of the explosion. What if she'd been right? That anyone associated to him and Dean ended up dead. A few flashes of memories had slipped through when he first came out to the yard and he felt a twinge in his chest as he remembered that he'd felt this way before. That he couldn't save anyone, no matter what he tried. What if the last six years had been full of accidents where death could have been avoided? What if the last six years were just painful memories that he'd rather just forget? What if?

Meanwhile, Dean and Bobby were discussing the current situation,

"What the hell does Crowley have to do with any of this? He made it sound like he was a freaking passenger!" Dean was fuming as he knocked back the scotch that Bobby had poured him.

"Well he still owns my soul, that's one thing," Bobby said sarcastically. "But think about it now that Lucifer is back in the cage who's actually calling the shots?" Dean sighed in frustration, he'd called Lisa earlier but gotten no answer and now he was frustrated and worried and...angry. He hated that their lives were being dictated by a demon once again. And for a second he wished that he'd stayed with Lisa. But even he knew that the year he spent with Lisa was probably the most fucked up year of his life. It was funny how much you craved something until it was right there in front of you.

"So...this Darcy chick...do you know her? She seemed to know you," Dean said to Bobby as he looked up. "Did you two have a falling out?" Bobby frowned as Dean said that and he raised an eyebrow and said,

"Why would you say that?"

"Well I get the impression that she knew you and that she didn't particularly like you...and anyway, what's her story?" Bobby shrugged,

"She used to help a few of us hunters out occasionally, I used to think she was psychic but it turned out that she wasn't."

"Her name is Darcy Patterson, she's probably about 23 or 24 now...her parents died in house fire when she was 13, and her older sister Annie died when she was 18...so I'm guessing that her life wasn't easy...it was odd though, when I looked into her I couldn't find any information on her Uncle – he was her legal guardian – which was pretty strange."

"But apart from all of that –"

"Apart from all of that?" Sam's voice came from the doorway, "What's wrong with you? What happened to innocent until proven guilty – you've just learned that her family is dead. Sound familiar to you?" Dean sighed, it was moments like this that left him wishing that Sam still remembered everything. But at the same time it was endearing to see _this _Sam with the innocence of the old Sam. But of course there was the fact that this might not even be his brother, which made everything even more complicated.

"Look Sam, we know _nothing _about her and you know, for all we know she walked us into that death trap and conveniently vanished just before the place went down, and you want me to give her the benefit of the doubt?"

"I'm just saying that if she wanted us dead, she had a long time to act on it! She looked after is after the...non…crash or whatever...and she seemed genuinely freaked out back at the house, I _still _don't think we should have left her there," Sam argued and Dean shot him a dark glare. He was just about to respond when there was a noise from upstairs. All three of them turned to look at each other with quizzical looks.

"Uh, do you have any...visitors up there Bobby?" Dean asked as he shifted around uncomfortably but Bobby shook his head and reached behind the worn out couch and pulled out his rifle just as Sam and Dean reached drew out their weapons. Thankfully they'd found all their guns and ammo still in the trunk so they'd been able to equip themselves. Dean tiptoed out of the front room first with Bobby close on his heels and Sam took the rear end of the trio. Dean scanned the hallway thoroughly as he crept towards the staircase. Bobby was close on his heels as he focused his attention on intruder. Neither of them noticed that Sam was no longer behind them.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief as he reached the top stair without it creaking. He heard a fumbling sound and his grip on the weapon he held tightened instinctively. He turned around the corner that lead to the hallway and found himself face to face with-

"Crowley, you son of a bitch," Bobby growled as he spotted the demon. "You here to give me my soul back?" Crowley snorted and said,

"I'm here to make a deal," He paused and make a big show of looking over them, "You seem to be missing a musketeer." Bobby and Dean both looked behind them instantly and Dean's mouth was an angry, thin line when he turned back to face Crowley.

"It's funny because Sam's mine, has been ever since he's come back from hell...he was my protégée," Crowley mused with a smug look on his face. "Of course he didn't know it and I needed someone to give me feedback from time to time...turns out he had another agenda...don't worry Bobby, I only killed him a few minutes ago...I'm sure you'll get the smell of blood out...eventually."

Dean frowned, so that 'hunter' who'd attacked him had been a spy for Crowley...and Bobby had been keeping him here all along? What the hell was going on? He glanced at Bobby with a suspicious glint in his eyes when he saw that Bobby was looking down with a guilty expression on his face. Dean thought that on any other day he'd understand, he'd happily accept that Bobby was just anxious about his soul but not today. Just not when he didn't know who he could trust and he couldn't tell who was screwing him over. So he snapped. He raised his gun and blasted Crowley full of rock salt. Bobby shot him a disappointed look but Dean didn't care. Crowley looked down at the hole in his expensive suit and snorted,

"Good luck finding your brother now, you idiot!" He yelled before vanishing before Dean could even come up with a response and he bit his lip to stop himself from swearing out loud.

Darcy coughed as dust sprinkled all over her clothes and hair. She could feel a deep throbbing pain at the side of her head as she stood up slowly. She blinked a few times as she tried to regain a sense of her surroundings and instantly she remembered where she was. In fact she was pretty sure that should navigate her way around this house in her sleep. It's probably how she survived the explosion in the first place. Darcy coughed again as yet some more dust crumbled down from the ceiling on the narrow pathway she was stumbling down. She couldn't believe that that evil son of a bitch had the balls to blow up _her _house. But what was slightly amusing was that Crowley just wasn't going to get rid of her easily. Not now that she was about to get her hands on what Crowley really wanted.

_Darcy never really paid attention to what Annie wrote in her books because it wasn't really any of her business. That was until she caught her uncle reading through them with an evil smirk on his face. She'd never really liked him and now...She just didn't __**trust **__him. He was never in the house so why was he reading the books? So she'd snuck into Annie's room one day and taken all of her old books and hidden them in her room. Eventually her Uncle found them but that wasn't the end of the matter. She did some investigating around the house until she found a hiding place. It was located at the end of one of the secret, spiralled pathways at the bottom of the house. As far as her uncle was concerned Annie had just stopped writing. Darcy was too naive to know that things just weren't that simple._

She bit back a cry of pain as she inched along the pathway as she subconsciously reached for the chain around her neck. She pulled it up and unclipped the key that was hanging from the chain. She paused as she reached a section of the wall. It only occurred to her then that there was no way that Crowley would have blown up the house if...her hand shot out quickly and she brushed the dust of the brick wall that she was facing, she felt around for the loose brick that had been there for as long as she could remember and she grabbed onto it with both hands and pulled it out of the small opening. Even though it was dark, she knew as soon as she looked that it wasn't there. Darcy frowned as she spotted a slip of paper; she picked it up and unfolded it, scanning it quickly.

_I never lose_

She grimaced as she scrunched the slip into a ball and tossed it on to the ground. She was just about to turn to leave when something in the opening caught her eye. Reaching into the opening with her hand she felt around until she grasped something. Darcy pulled it out and there was a puzzled expression on her face as she saw that it was a small brown pouch. She opened it and pulled out a folded up piece of paper, she unfolded it, only to see that it was some sort of map. Written at the bottom was a small message in Annie's handwriting.

_He's not as smart as he thinks he is. This will sound weird but after the accident, something happened to me. I kept on seeing things about other people's lives. I saw demons, angels and...all sorts. But maybe you've figured some of that out already. So I wrote it all down. Every thought, every vision. The last book...It's the one that Crowley wants. It was too easy to just leave it in the house so I've hidden it somewhere. Use the map to find it. I promise that there'll be a better explanation once you've found the last book._

_A._

Darcy scrunched that up as well. None of this added up, because now Crowley was walking around with a fake book. Even if he didn't know the real truth he could still cause some damage and Darcy had read some of the books, it all revolved around Sam Winchester. All of it. It was part of the reason why she'd been so surprised at the way he was with her. If she was him then she'd be pissed and she'd be dangerous. But she supposed that maybe she hadn't seen Sam at his worst and if what she'd read really was going to happen – and Annie had always been right – then...they were all going to have a mess on their hands. But she was tired of following these stupid books religiously, after all the talent had been given to Annie by a demon. _Uncle Crowley, _to be exact. And once he was done with her, he'd disposed of her the way he had their parents. Darcy didn't care if she was next on the list, she had to warn Sam. No more playing right into Crowley's hands. She was going to make him pay for every one of his sins.


	18. INTERLUDE 2

**INTERLUDE **

* * *

One minute Sam was standing behind Bobby, his eyes on the back of Dean's head when suddenly he just wasn't anymore. He frowned as he found himself in pitch black darkness and his eyes fluttered rapidly as he tried to adjust. Even though he was supposedly 28 years old and meant to be wiser, he couldn't help feeling like he was still 22 years old. At the moment he was still thinking in that mind-set, he was naive and _innocent_. He realised now that he needed to snap out of this. He needed to stop being Sam from the _past _and he needed to face up to who he was now and what he'd done. Sam closed his eyes gently as the images flittered across his mind. Of Ruby standing there egging him on as Dean screamed his name. Every time this particular memory brought itself to fruition he screamed at himself too. He told himself to listen to Dean, to get the hell out and just _run. _But each time it's the same result, he killed Lilith; he started the damn _apocalypse – _he had _freed Lucifer._

Sam hadn't really told Dean that he remembered this much. He hadn't told Dean that he had known about the _demon blood _for a lot longer than they thought he had. He was ashamed. He knew that it was done and couldn't be undone but he just couldn't get over it. He figured that if his memories weren't disjointed, if the puzzle was complete then maybe he wouldn't be struggling with this. But Sam knew that was a lie he told himself when the going got tough. A lot of what he did with this Ruby was hazy. But the demon blood – that was all so fucking vivid that Sam just wanted to scream. He wanted to be back in that hospital with the last six years buried deep down in black hole within him that was just too deep to venture into.

Sam couldn't help feeling like a disappointment, like he'd let everyone down. And he got the feeling that every time he'd tried to rectify this; he'd only ended up making it worse. Sam sighed as he shook himself out of his thoughts. There was no use dwelling on his shortcomings when there was a bigger issue at hand.

But first of all he had to figure out where the hell he was.


	19. Chapter 17

Darcy coughed as she walked past the rubble that used to be her home. She sighed to herself as she thought about all the innocent hunters who'd died because of her and her stubbornness. And now...now she was about to make the same mistakes all over again. But maybe not if she changed her plans. Besides after a few days with the Winchesters she got the impression that no one who messed with them made it out alive.

"I don't believe this..." Dean yelled angrily. "He has Sam! My amnesiac brother. Remember him!" Bobby just sighed as he shook his head. What about him? Didn't he matter? Was it a crime for him to want his soul back? After all, he sold it to help out his boys. This was the perfect opportunity for them to get it back and deal with Crowley once for all. But it was like talking to brick wall. Dean just wasn't having any of it now when Sam was concerned. Bobby couldn't help himself, he snapped,

"You know, you are so selfish!" he said as he glared at Dean, his nostrils flaring wildly, "I have always been here for you, what would it take for you to just consider me for once!" There was a long uncomfortable silence as Dean just stared back at Bobby with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

"This isn't about you," Dean said finally. "Let's just focus on getting Sam back – he needs us Bobby and then I'll help you get your soul back." Bobby just nodded gently, after all that was better than nothing. After that they didn't say anything to each other for a while. Bobby made some calls to Rufus, and the other hunters he knew of, asking around about Crowley, while Dean mostly paced around and called Sam's cell repeatedly.

Dean couldn't help think about Darcy for a few minutes here and there. Now that the adrenaline had worn off he couldn't believe that he'd just left her there. Not only was she their only lead at the moment, she was still a person. A complete bitch, yeah...but still a person. He wondered if she was even alive. God, he prayed that she was alive. Especially after all that Bobby had told them about her. Dean supposed that he could see why she was the way she was. He turned to go and see where Bobby had gotten to only to find himself grabbed by his collar and thrown against a wall. _What the hell? _He grimaced as his back collided with Bobby's front room's wall. He breathed out slowly as he looked up only to come face to face with...Darcy - and then everything went black.

"HELLO!" Sam yelled, "Is there anyone here?" he banged onto the steel door again not caring that his hands were starting to get bloody. He sighed, as he resigned himself to defeat. Sam was just about to slump back down onto the cold, concrete floor when he heard a noise that sounded like hinges creaking. He took a step backwards as he braced himself for whatever it was that was heading his way.

Bobby didn't even jump when he entered his front room to find Dean unconscious and Darcy sitting in one of the worn out armchairs with a nonplussed look on her face. He shook his head and he muttered a few choice insults about Dean under his breath. But he wasn't really surprised that Darcy had made it out alive.

"I see you managed to lose Sam already," she said in a snarky tone. "Idiots."

Bobby just rolled his eyes, there was no love lost between them but she was good at what she did. When she wasn't lying to save her own ass that is. But he had to admire her for her numerous attempts to kill Crowley, he actually wondered why she hadn't succeeded.

"How'd do you get here anyway?" he asked her.

"I drove her," a deep voice from the door way boomed into the room and for a second, Bobby was startled. He saw Darcy roll her eyes and he frowned.

"James?" he said in surprise as he recognised the man, he was a hunter as well. About the same age as Sam and Dean if Bobby was to guess. "You two know each other?"

"You could say that," James said bluntly and Bobby raised an eyebrow. What the hell was his problem? Huh, he thought, someone actually likes her. Though, Bobby thought, there were a number of people out there who probably wanted to blast him full of rock salt so he was in the same boat. Though, it was weird because when Bobby had been trying to find out about Darcy, he was pretty sure that James had been on the long list of people who she'd pissed off. So what had changed since? Before Bobby could ponder this anymore, he heard a groan come from Dean's direction and he glanced over to see Dean sitting up slowly, with an angry looking bruise starting to form on his right eye. Yikes, Bobby thought, Good thing that Darcy was a chick.

"You hit me," Dean said groggily. "You freaking' hit me!" Darcy just grinned – manically in Bobby's opinion but hey, who was he to judge? – And replied,

"And you left me to die in a burning building don't even think that we're even yet." Dean glared at for a few seconds before his shoulders slumped as he conceded defeat.

"I'll give you that one," he grumbled. "Who's your lapdog?" James' face twisted into an offended expression as he stepped forwards,

"The name's James," he said bluntly and Dean just smirked at him bitterly.

"Where's Sam?" Darcy asked. "How have you managed to lose him already?"

"We don't know!" Dean shot back angrily, "Crowley took him." Darcy frowned,

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that..."

"H-h-hello..." a quiet voice whispered from within the shadows and Sam narrowed his eyes as he tried to see who it was. But just at that moment, he felt a sharp pain as images rushed through his brain again. It was over almost as quickly as it started and Sam didn't even have time to make sense of any of his returned memories when he saw a pale face looking through the hatch. The slit was too small for him to make out their full appearance, and that added to the darkness made it impossible to see.

"Are you Sam Winchester?" the voice said again and Sam froze, he couldn't place the voice but he thought that it belonged to a female.

"Yeah, yeah I am," he replied, "And you? What's your name?"

"A-annie...my name is Annie," the girl said and Sam frowned. That name was familiar...he just couldn't place it right now. Dammit. But he didn't have time to figure it out now; now that someone else was here maybe he could work on getting them out of this place.

Bobby and James leaned against and old pickup truck in the yard as they shared a beer. There was a comfortable silence between the two of them as they stood there. Bobby was the first to break it,

"What game are you playing here?" he asked, a flush of annoyance flowing through him when James just grinned cruelly. "I know that you know"

"Know what Bobby?" James said, "That Darcy's precious sister is alive?" Bobby tensed as he looked around to make sure that neither Dean nor Darcy were in earshot, "And just how long have you known, Bobby? I'm willing to be that you even know where she is!"

"You don't know what you're talking about! Also, don't think I don't know about this stupid plan of yours...to bust her out and use her as some sort of guinea pig so you can fulfil your naive, superhero dreams...I just haven't figured out how _stupid _you really are," James looked stricken for the first time that Bobby had seen him and Bobby smirked inwardly, the man was a cocky two bit hunter and someone needed to put him in his place. But as he glanced at James he noticed a hint of fear in his eyes and he frowned. This couldn't be good.

"What have you gotten yourself into now?" he asked with a heavy sigh.

"The angels," was all James said and Bobby didn't ask him to elaborate. He didn't know what was going on up there but it was good. He'd heard all sorts about rogue angels and civil unrest, but he didn't know much about what was actually going on. Maybe he'd get to Dean to call down that idjit angel Castiel to give them a heads up.

"You know, Darcy _will _find out...and do you really want her to find out that you knew all along?" Bobby said and James turned to meet his eye with an angry look,

"Nobody thinks that I can do this job! And Darcy? She doesn't give a damn about me, I don't owe her anything...this is my one chance to prove myself and..." James trailed off as his eyes widened in shock. He could feel someone's presence behind him and he turned around slowly to find Dean and Darcy both standing there. Dean just looked sort of bewildered whereas Darcy has a thunderous expression on her face.

"Well, you're right about one thing, I _really _don't give a damn about you," she said as she pulled out a .45 from her jacket and pointed it right in his face. He gulped as she released the safety catch.


	20. Chapter 18

Dean didn't know why he did it but hell; he'd always been an impulsive kind of guy. He snatched the gun out of Darcy's hand and slid the safety back on. James breathed a huge sigh of relief, and Darcy just glared at him.

"I was going to shoot him!" she said defiantly. Dean just rolled his eyes because it was all a front wasn't it?

"You weren't going to shoot him," he said.

"Actually, I _was_," Darcy said in a serious voice and Dean raised an eyebrow. She actually looked serious and suddenly he was very relieved that he'd grabbed the gun off her.

"Whatever. What would shooting him have achieved anyway?" Dean said irritably.

"Oh, it would have been payment for the fact that I had to put up with him for this long," Darcy said, "Oh and it was him who told Crowley where to find you," James made a choked noise as Dean looked up to glare at him. "Oh and it was him who blew up my house!" James looked pale with shock, and he didn't even bother to deny any of what Darcy had said.

"Wow," Dean said. "I _should_ have let you shoot him! But...why are you working with him when you knew it was him who blew up the house?"

"I needed a ride," Darcy said. "You know, after you left me there all by myself!"

"You're still going on about that? I thought you were tougher than that?" Dean said in mocking tone.

"Don't forget Dean, you still owe me! I'm not going to take this lightly."

"Whatever."

* * *

Sam narrowed his eyes as he tried to make his way down the corridor, it was dark and dusty. Giant cobwebs were hanging off the ceiling blanketing the sinister hallway and Sam really hoped that there was a way out of here.

"So, how long have you been down here?" he asked Annie who was lagging behind slightly which wasn't unusual if she'd been cooped up here for God knows how long.

"Years...probably," she said distantly. "Perhaps you can tell me the date?" Sam frowned has he tried to cast his mind back, but it was difficult what with the fragmented state of his memories and thoughts and he just sighed and said,

"I'm suffering from some sort of amnesia, and I had...well I can't think straight at the moment," he explained rubbing a hand on his neck when Annie just regarded him slightly; her green eyes wary and full of distrust. Something flickered in her eyes and Sam tensed slightly as he made a mental note to keep an eye on her. She didn't trust him, and well he didn't trust her either. They continued down the hallway and Sam had almost given up hope when he turned and saw that Annie was just watching him.

"I'm guessing you've walked down this hallway before," he asked. "What's at the end Annie?" Annie didn't say anything, she just sighed sadly.

"Once you're here, you never get out again. Not unless you're dead and the smell of your decomposing body is starting to attract all sorts of creatures. This time...it was supposed to be different! You were supposed to get me out of here and _kill _that son of a bitch!" Annie hissed angrily and Sam blinked as the realisation hit him. Annie reminded him of someone...

"You're Darcy's sister? Her dead sister?" he asked and Annie just turned to glare at him and Sam coughed and said,

"Well obviously, you're not dead but...this changes everything..." He trailed off as Annie began to trudge back the way they had come from and he jogged after her in order to catch up.

"You're some sort of...psychic aren't you?" he said and Annie shrugged and Sam resisted the urge to growl in frustration, at least now he could see that they were definitely related somehow.

"Surely you've seen all of this?" and Annie tensed visibly and Sam looked around to see if anyone was approaching them but he didn't see anyone or anything. She turned around to look at him and suddenly Sam felt extremely uncomfortable. Had he said something wrong?

* * *

Dean sighed as he slammed the driver's door of the Impala and strode back into Bobby's back door, and he slammed that door too and came face to face with...Cas. Dean jumped and promptly smashed his back in the door. He clenched his fists,

"Dammit Cas, how many times!" he growled and Cas just frowned at him.

"We've figured it all out," Cas informed him and Dean glared at him angrily. "I suspected that some of the angels were involved in the return of your brother and I was right. I'm not sure if the memory loss was deliberate though I doubt it. Anyway, we need to make sure Sam's safe and then we can take action." Dean let a huge gust of air as he took in what Cas has said and he realised that Cas had given him practically nothing to go on.

"You better start talking Cas, or I'll make sure that you sit this one out!" He snapped angrily and Cas just regarded him silently. After a while Cas broke the silence,

"First of all where is Sam?" he asked and Dean wanted to punch something.

"Darcy's here isn't she? Why didn't you ask her?"

"Oh, I did," Cas replied. "She told me to go and fu—"

"Alright, alright," Dean said as he snorted quietly, "Sam's gone. Crowley took him...right from under our noses. Oh and he still has Bobby's soul!"

"And my sister," Darcy said. "Or does she not count...we're in the same boat here, you know." Dean turned to glare at her because has far as he was concerned this was a private conversation between him and Cas. And fine, just because he'd left her for dead – which was wrong of him, and he acknowledged that – it didn't mean that he had to stand here and waste time listening to her butting in on his conversation.

"Look, why don't you go and look for her by yourself!" he practically yelled and for the first time he saw a hint of fear on her face. But her voice didn't cower or shake,

"I know where they are...I'm pretty sure that Sam will be there too. But first of all I need to know why this is happening, why my life was ripped away from me suddenly all those years ago – he promised me answers" Darcy said as she motioned to Cas.

"So you've known all this time, where they've been?" Dean said his voice bitter and full of unspoken accusations.

"It's why I went to the house...there was something there for me, and I found a map; I just had to pinpoint an exact location, which is a darn sight better than anything you've done. I don't do impulsive, it gets you into a bigger mess and it's a waste of time. All this driving around you've been doing has been _pointless. _And you know it too, you just do it to put your mind at rest," Darcy said and Dean stepped towards her and pointed a finger at her,

"Are you trying to imply that I don't know how to do my job? Because you're in no position to talk!"

"I'm not a conventional hunter, Dean...so I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not thinking about my sister in this...Sam's the last thing on my mind...this is personal, at least I don't act like I'm the judge of what's right and wrong...all I care about is getting Crowley's head on a stick and all _you_ care about is getting your brother back in one piece! So much so that your so called hunter skills tend to just fly out of the window!"

There was a long silence as Dean glared at Darcy angrily, fury running through his veins as he ran all of her accusations again in his head. She was wrong, yes he knew that Sam was his weak spot or whatever, but Sam had been missing so many times that he was practically used to this. He knew that Sam was alive. He was broken out of his thoughts by Castiel clearing his throat,

Dean and Darcy turned to look at him expectantly and Cas suddenly started to look guilty, he turned to Darcy and said,

"I'm sure you must have wondered what Crowley had done to her in all these years..." he paused as he averted his eyes, "We have reason to believe that your sister is possessed."


	21. Chapter 19

Dean turned to Darcy and was shocked to see that she didn't even seem surprised; she was just standing there with and indifferent expression on his face. It was like she didn't even care. Didn't care that her possessed sister was in a position where she'd become Crowley's lapdog.

"What the hell is that matter with you?" he asked and Darcy just ignored him. Cas cleared his throat again,

"You don't seem surprised," he added and Darcy just sighed. Dean saw a flicker of emotion flit across her face before her expressionless mask broke out again. She turned and made her way over to the back door that Dean had come through a few minutes ago. Dean was torn between letting her go and stopping her, but in the end the latter won and he grabbed her arm. She whirled around and Dean was just about able to dodge her flying fist. Dean cursed under his breath as she carried on walking and strode out of the door. He knew that he was being rude and obnoxious, but this was about Sam too. Sam, who had fragmented memories and shadows of hell lurking inside his head. The longer Sam was out there, the more time Crowley had to mess things up. Dean wasn't going to stand by and watch this happen. He turned to follow her out,

"Dean, maybe you should leave her alone for a while," Cas suggested and Dean turned to glare at him and said,

"She _knows _where Sam is! What if she runs off by herself?"

"She's young and has walls up to stop herself from falling apart Dean; you of all people should be able to relate," Cas replied. "I'm sure that when she's ready she will come back."

* * *

Sam felt a shiver pass through him and he stopped walking. Something about all of this felt off. Why did he feel as though he was being lead to something sinister? He blinked and suddenly he was back in a cell, it was different from where he'd been kept before, more spacious and cleaner and he frowned. He looked up and saw that Annie was kneeling beside him, her head bowed down and he resisted the urge to crawl ways and hide in one of the corners of the cell. Her voice startled him when he heard it,

"He's probably going to kill me for doing this, But I need you to remember so that you make sure that my sister is saved...you have to kill Crowley for me because he'll kill her if she tries again," Annie said before she paused briefly. "Close your eyes..." Sam did as she said and he felt her place her hands on his head. Sam winced as he felt the first waves of pain. _What are you doing?_ He wanted to ask but he couldn't speak because the pain was building up as her hands gripped his head even tighter. He felt a rush of images coursing through his mind and he struggled to see them all because it was all going so fast. And the pain was just so deep that Sam wanted to scream until his voice was hoarse. In fact he was pretty sure that he was screaming already but there was a strange silence seeping into his hears, like he was stuck inside a never ending vacuum.

And then suddenly everything stopped. Sam opened his eyes and gasped when he saw a pair of black eyes staring back at him. But then Sam felt his eyelids drooping and he could no longer keep his eyes open.

* * *

Dean was throwing a range of weapons into his duffel when Cas reappeared beside him. He didn't even bother to scold Cas he just sighed wearily,

"She back yet?" he asked as he threw more items into the bag. Ever since Darcy had walked out they hadn't seen her since. _Give her some space_ Cas had said, and Dean was just berating himself for not knowing that she'd try and screw them over. He hated feeling this helpless, he _hated it. _What exactly was Crowley's game plan here? Dean had been over it a countless number of times but he'd come p with nothing.

"She hasn't deserted us," Cas said. "She'll be back in due course." Dean rolled his eyes. What use was Cas anyway? Hell, he didn't even have any leads on where Sam was.

"You know what Cas?" he asked, "If you're some sort of hotshot angel now, why is it that you can't take us to Crowley's lair? Why is it that you can't give me any answers?"

"Because it's very likely that you won't like the answers," Cas replied. "You're not focused on getting Crowley out of the picture because you haven't gotten over the fact that Sam's really alive," Before Dean could reply, Bobby poked his head into his front room and said,

"She's back." Dean dropped the back and went storming out of the room and came face to face with Darcy in the hallway. She shot him a look that Dean couldn't read and for some reason Dean found himself biting back all the angry words he's been so ready to throw at her. After all, they were pretty much in the same situation here. So he just nodded at her as a way of greeting her and he didn't react to her raised eyebrow. She glanced at him for a moment before she walked past him and entered Bobby's front room. Dean noticed that she was limping slightly and he felt a flash of guilt running through him. He followed her into the room and watched as Darcy and Castiel engaged in a conversation that he and Bobby clearly weren't going to be invited into.

She'd supposedly been inside that house when it blew up so how had she come out of it mostly unscathed? Apart from a few scratches on her face and the limp it Dean wouldn't have believed that she'd been in the house at all...unless...she wasn't inside the house when it'd blown up. After all she'd disappeared somewhere before he and Sam had gotten out. She could easily have orchestrated the whole thing. She could easily have been stringing them along. Hell, they first time they met her it'd been after a freaking car crash that supposedly _didn't happen. _As Dean watched Darcy and Cas talk his eyes began to narrow in suspicion. Something wasn't right here; there was something _odd _that Dean just couldn't put his finger on. He was missing something, he knew he was.

He just hoped that when he figured it out, it wouldn't be too late.


	22. Chapter 20

Over the next few hours, Bobby and Dean stocked up on bullets and made sure that their weapons were in top condition. Not that all of these weapons would work against Crowley and his cronies but hey, it gave them _something _to do. Dean had tried to voice his concerns to Bobby but he'd just shut him down and told Dean to quit being so paranoid. Dean had reminded Bobby about all of the times that he'd commended Dean for following his instincts and that had shut him up. In fact Bobby hadn't said a word to him since so Dean was pretty sure that Bobby was pissed at him. Dean supposed that he should care that the man who'd been like a father to him in the last few years was angry with him but…Sam came first. Sam always came first. Family didn't end with blood, but it did begin with it. Maybe he wasn't being logical but that's what happened, he'd rather care and be wrong, than not give a damn and be right.

He just couldn't help feeling as though his brother's fate lay in Darcy's hands. That didn't sit well with him at all. For a brief moment he wondered what Sam was doing right now. He knew that everything wouldn't be as right as rain. What if he remembered now? Or hell, maybe Darcy's demonic sister had got her hands on him and – no, he wasn't going to think about _that. _And even if _that _was the case then…Dean couldn't even complete the thought because…he just couldn't. So he'd put a plan together. If Darcy and Castiel weren't going to talk to him then he'd make them. It's not like he hadn't done worse before.

"What are you thinking?" Bobby asked as he flipped through a book idly. He'd been quiet for a long time and Dean had been so lost in his thoughts that he'd even forgotten that Bobby was still in the room with.

"I'm thinking that we're being screwed over right now," Dean answered and Bobby sighed.

"I'm starting to think that you're right" that caused Dean to look up at Bobby sharply, "It doesn't add up I mean, Crowley has him right now and Cas wants to get him back – Darcy apparently has an in with Cas, yet Crowley is still alive."

"And you're point is…?" Dean asked impatiently because he didn't need Bobby to outline all the stuff he'd said _hours _ago. It was pointless and a waste of time.

"Someone's not telling the truth here, why does Crowley need Sam? Why did Darcy wait until now to suddenly start looking for her sister?" Bobby pondered and Dean just shrugged. It was just questions, more and more unanswered questions and it didn't bring them closer to finding out where Sam was.

"I don't think Darcy is who she says she is, at least not anymore," Bobby said, "I think that the whole thing was a trap."

"What? But she's been…I…do you think this is connected to what the angels wanted Sam for?" Dean asked and Bobby frowned, he opened his mouth to speak but Dean raised a hand,

"I'll elaborate, Crowley told us that they wanted to use Sam as some sort of human bomb to destroy hell – it'd be so strong that Sam would be destroyed too."

"But surely if he could destroy hell, he could destroy heaven as well, if Crowley had the means to get him there," Bobby replied and Dean nodded. It was possible. Maybe they were stuck in the middle of another battle.

Heaven vs. Hell.

The two of them trying to outdo each other; take each other out. The way Dean saw it Sam was the desired weapon here. But something else must have been needed to facilitate the process, it wouldn't just be that cut and dry.

Annie.

"The sister!" Dean exclaimed, "It must be the sister – Annie, I mean it's perfect. She comes across as the doting sister, desperately searching for her loved one when really she's a cold, hard-assed…whatever desperately searching for the catalyst. The very thing that would help them execute her plan."

"It's not just her plan Dean," Castiel's deep monotonic voice came from the open doorway and Dean snapped his head up in record speed and gaped as Cas and Darcy stood in the doorway, "I didn't want it to come to this but you're right. That was our plan all along."

"Crowley hijacked it," Darcy added and Dean turned to glare at her angrily.

"I don't want to speak to you, just him," he said as he jabbed a finger in Castiel's directions. "Are you even who say you are?" She regarded him carefully before turning to look at Cas who just nodded at her gently.

"Darcy had strong beliefs, her faith was a powerful asset to her and she relied on it constantly. She gave herself up to me willingly, she was rewarded for her faith and courage," Darcy said and Dean nodded,

"So you're an angel," he laughed dryly. "Now it all makes sense…god, you're all the same aren't you?

"Dean-" Cas began to say but Dean cut him off,

"And you? I thought you were my _friend! _I can't believe that you'd try and use Sam like that, I thought that you actually gave a crap!"

"I care very much Dean, but can you imagine a world with no evil, no pain – no suffering if we get rid of hell we'll all be free of it."

"No, Cas – you're wrong. You'd be free! Of your enemies. What happens to the evil on the planet right now? If you destroy hell…where do they go?"

"I…I'd never thought about it that way," Cas said. "But it changes nothing. This is God's work, God's plan. Hell shouldn't exist – Lucifer was trying to replicate Heaven and fill it with his scores of reprobates, and that goes against everything we stand for. This is our one chance to destroy it".

"And _nothing _is going to get in our way," Darcy added with a grim look on her face.


	23. Chapter 21

Dean was fuming as he and Bobby glared at Castiel and Darcy from where they (Bobby and him) were seated and tied up. All he could think about was the fact that his brother was set to die - again. But this time it was for all the wrong reasons. This moronic plan to destroy hell would come back to bite the angels in their asses, why couldn't they see that? Earth would be a billion times more fucked up than it was already. There was no such thing as "paradise on earth." Not that he cared about what the angels or demons were brewing up; he just wanted his brother back - alive.

"You can't just leave us here!" he said through gritted teeth. Cas turned to give him a sympathetic look whereas Darcy carried on talking,

"The girl will still be useful to us, I can persuade her to help, and she has no idea that I'm not her real sister." Cas just nodded, like the obedient coward he was and Dean tensed in anger. He'd kill them both if he had to. They'd regret this; he'd make sure of it. He prayed that Sam had just the slightest inkling of what was going on here. Maybe his brother would be able to work his mojo somehow and save himself. Not that Dean would be happy about Sam using his powers but what other choice did they have?

::::

Sam remembered everything, the last six years were present in his mind in Technicolor, high definition and it arose a sick feeling inside his gut. Even though he'd had patches of memory before, it all seemed worse when he was confronted with everything. Maybe he deserved to be killed in this battle; he'd caused all of this indirectly. Because of what was inside his blood. The same old feelings of disgust and self-loathing churned inside his stomach and a wave of anger crashed over him and there was a loud cracking noise. He looked up to see a jagged crack on the ceiling of whatever underground room they were in. He glanced around quickly and spotted Annie lying in a heap on the ground, blood pooling around her chest. Her eyes were wide open, her lips parted slightly as blood tricked out of her mouth staining her pale, white face. There was no doubt in Sam's mind that the girl was dead and he let out a resigned sigh.

"Poor thing," Crowley emerged from the darkness with a smug look on his face, "I told her about her precious sister being killed a long time ago and she got a tad bit upset so I put her out of her misery."

"Darcy isn't dead!" Sam growled and Crowley laughed loud and raucously though it died down when he was suddenly flung backwards his back pressed against the wall while his feet were two feet off the ground. Sam's blood was boiling as he focused all of his energy on keeping him tethered to the wall.

"You know, I thought you were the smart one. Your brother is a bloody moron, but you...I expected better of you. You really thought that a pathetic maggot would even have the nerve to try and kill me that many times and live to tell the tale?" he laughed but it turned into a groan has Sam tightened his mental grip on the demon.

"What is she?" he demanded to know not noticing the trickle of blood from his nose that was making its way down his face.

"My dear old niece found God, so to speak, I sent someone to kill her but you can't rely on anyone these days. Incompetent halfwits." Crowley replied. Sam relaxed his hold a little as he tried to comprehend what Crowley had just informed him.

"She's an angel?" he said, disbelief colouring his voice even though he knew that it made sense. But...

"All of those hunters, the house - why do that if it couldn't kill her?"

"There's a lot of unrest in heaven Sam, God's little soldiers are unhappy with it and I may have promised Darcy her sister back in return for her assistance."

"She's going to double cross the angels," Sam said in a resigned tone and Crowley suddenly lowered himself down and stepped forwards.

"Bravo." is all he said before he flung out his hand and sent Sam flying across the room. Pain shot across his body as he slammed into the hard concrete. His nails scratched against the floor and he tried to get purchase. He hoisted himself upwards eventually standing up even as his muscles protested.

"You're going to have to do better than that" Sam said in an icy tone, "Because only one of us is going to make it out of here alive." Crowley laughed as he brushed imaginary dust off of his tailored suit. He look nonplussed and Sam felt himself getting angrier. He didn't think that he had enough energy to take on Crowley. Then again maybe Crowley wasn't the bigger problem; also Sam wouldn't be here if he was an actual threat to Crowley himself.

"I can't kill you," he said simply and Crowley smirked,

"Unlike Azazel and Lilith, I'm actually concerned about number one, I had them assure me of certain things when they started breeding their own batch of designer babies," he said with a shrug. "So the angel's clever little plan won't work, but I'm going to sit back and enjoy the show." Sam threw him a scornful look, brows furrowed as he realised that Crowley was happy for him to be used as some sort of toy that they could just toss around.

"What about my brother? Hell, what about me - you're just going to stand by why they try and destroy me?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Sam, am I supposed to look into your adorable puppy eyes and _feel_ something for you?" Crowley replied, "You and my brother have been a pain in my arse since day one - you're just going to have to figure your way out of this mess all by yourself."

::::

Dean sighed as he and Bobby sat across from each other, their arms tightly bound together with thick rope.

"Man, this is like a scene out of a bad action movie, where's Bruce Willis when you need him?"

"Dean! Focus" Bobby said as he rolled his eyes, "Though I am partial to the odd Die Hard flick. Not the last one though." Dean chuckled dryly. They'd been struggling in vain to undo the ropes but the angel mojo was pretty strong so they were stuck for now. This gave Dean ample thinking time. Mostly about how stupid the angels and demons were with their plans. But he was worried about Sam too. What if his brother had remembered everything? Though, if he thought about it that would probably be in Sam's interest. It's what would happen if he didn't gain it that was the more dangerous option. What if either side managed to manipulate his brother into joining forces with them? What if they talked the boy into giving up his life again willingly? Dean would never forgive himself if that happened. He'd only just gotten his brother back. No way was he going to allow Sam to spend the rest of his life rotting in hell just because of the stupid battle of ego's the angels and demons were engaging in.

A loud sound broke into Dean's thoughts - like glass smashing and before he and Bobby could contemplate what it was Cas swept into the room with a determined look on his face. With a wave of his hand, the ropes loosened and fell off Dean and Bobby's wrists leaving them free. The two of them remained seated though as they regarded Cas in shock. Dean didn't know how long it'd been since Darcy and Cas had left them here but...as had seemed so stuck on proceeding with the plan that Dean was taking this appearance with a huge grain of salt.

"What do you want?" he growled and Cas shot him a look, and Dean supposed that the angel was aiming for a sympathetic expression.

"To repay you for the faith you've always had in me, I believe you when you say that our intentions are flawed and not fool proof, so I'm letting you go in the hopes that you can stop it."

"And why can't you stop them?" Dean snapped and Cas sighed.

"I am outnumbered it seems, and I can't risk going head to head with all of them, but you can Dean."

"If anyone is strong enough to save Sam from this mess it's you."


	24. Chapter 22

It's not until they were on the road that Dean realised that he and Bobby didn't even have a plan. Well they didn't have a plan past, charging in their half blind with their rock salt loaded guns blazing. Dean had no problem with doing that. It'd worked for him before. Bobby, on the other hand, had other ideas.

"We can't just charge in there," he protested. "We don't know how many demons are down there. We don't know if Crowley, will be there – and don't forget that we have a pissed off angel also on the loose!"

"So what the hell do you think we should do," Dean said angrily. "Because I don't really give a crap about any of that as long as we get Sam back in one piece"

"Sam's the only one that has the juice to help us with the demons—"

"No."

"Dean—"

"It's not going to happen!" Dean said as he brought the car to a halt suddenly. It was dark outside, with the roads all but deserted and he turned to face Bobby. "If we stand by and let him take on those demons, it could _kill_ him."

"And if we stand by and let the demons walk all over us, it might not matter anyway, because we'd be _dead_!" Dean nodded to himself bitterly as he took in Bobby's words. He couldn't help thinking about how easily Castiel had let them go and given them up. Why do that when earlier he'd been pretty gung-ho about the angel's plan to destroy hell. And, why wasn't he going after Darcy who'd left so long ago? It didn't make sense unless. ..

"The angels have abandoned their plan." Bobby frowned at Dean for a few moments,

"It never would have worked anyway, two forces that strong can't destroy each other because—"

"They'd cancel each other out and screw up the planet to boot." Dean tapped his fingers against the steering wheel idly. "So this is personal. Crowley vs Darcy. With Sam caught up in the middle."

"So who's side are we on?" Bobby asked. "Team Angel, or Team King of Hell?" Dean chuckled dryly.

"We're Team Get Sam The Hell Outta There!"

"Ever feel like we're always caught up in shit storms that always turn out to be petty fights?" Bobby grumbled as Dean restarted the Impala. Dean didn't answer; he was too occupied on just how the hell they'd be able to get Sam out of Crowley's hands.

The thing about demons, and creatures that have the ability to talk was that they loved to monologue. Sam had the pleasure of listening to Crowley outline his now useless plan to him in excruciating detail. He was tired, weak and slumped over in a corner of wherever this place was. Bodies of demons lay strewn around the floor from where he'd killed them and he was pretty sure that his face was covered in congealed blood.

"So what do you plan to do with me?" he asked once Crowley had finally shut up. He couldn't just sit here and hope for Dean to rescue him; he had to man up and deal with this like the adult he was. "Make me your bitch, glorified killing machine – or hey, maybe you need a chef? I make a mean scrambled egg."

"You're funny," Crowley said with a snort. "C for effort, but I like that you think you're in a position to be making jokes. It'll make my satisfaction that much sweeter when I watch you writhe around in pain as I rip your stomach out". Sam snorted to himself,

"I might not be able to kill you…but I can hurt you". He was bluffing mostly but Crowley seemed to sense that there was some truth to his words because he rolled his eyes and checked his watch for what seemed like the 20th time. They'd been waiting for Darcy to arrive for what seemed like hours. Crowley had explained that once the angels realised their plan was just as screwed as his they'd have no problem sending someone down to "deal with him". And he was going kill her once and for all. Sam wasn't really sure how he'd felt about that, there wasn't any love lost when it came to angels but…he kind of felt that he had to do something. Annie was dead and…even though Darcy had lost her humanity a long time ago, maybe there was a still a chance for her to be saved. He could do his best to help but he wasn't sure what would happen when she eventually did turn up.

Loud footsteps brought Sam out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Crowley rubbing his hands together.

"Showtime," the demon said with a smirk. "I do love the sweet smell of revenge, don't you?" He stepped forward as Darcy walked into the room. Suddenly the walls started to illuminate and Sam realised that angel sigils had been painted on the wall. They flashed an electric blue colour as she walked further into the room. As Crowley stepped forward the room became dark once again.

"I'm sorry that your sister couldn't make it," he smiled as Darcy glared at him from where she'd stopped. "Maybe you'll see her in another life".

"And was it worth it, worth locking her up down here like she was some sort of trained monkey?" Darcy turned to look at Sam who stared back at her with unblinking eyes. "Heaven's still there, the angels are still out there. You'll never destroy it"

"Uh-huh," Crowley said in a bored tone. "What's your point?"

"Sam's still here. You're still here. There's nothing to say that I can't use him to destroy you." Crowley faltered as Sam sighed to himself. This was bullshit; he couldn't just sit here and let them talk about him like he wasn't here. Slowly, he got to his feet, using the wall to prop himself up. He started to inch forwards slowly, towards the opening where Darcy had just come through. He was still feeling a little weak from his round of demon slaying earlier but as he moved forward, he could feel some energy seeping through him as his steps became stronger and steadier.

"And where do you think you're going?" Crowley asked as he stopped mid-conversation and turned to Sam. Sam didn't bother to turn around he just shrugged.

"I'm out of here, maybe one of you will catch up with me by the time you're done with your pissing contest but I'm not in the mood to listen."

"Humans," Crowley mused. "Overly opinionated species aren't they?"


	25. Chapter 23

"Are you sure you're reading that map right?"

"Yes!" Bobby insisted for the hundredth time. Dean knew that he was probably being overly hard on the man but…Sam's life was on the line here. He could always apologise later when he knew that his little brother was safe. "Maybe you should get one of those sat-nav things that you kids use these days."

"Don't even," Dean said as he shook his head. "I don't need a satellite navigation system. I need you to give me the _right_ directions!"

"I have, you idjit!" Bobby said. "Maybe Cas didn't give us the right place."

"Why wouldn't he? It wouldn't be in his best interests to screw with us!"

"Well, unless Sam's roaming around in some supersized store, I'm afraid that we've been had." Dean looked up at the giant store with a frown on his face. It seemed kind of innocuous at first but…it'd definitely be big enough for someone to hide in. Hell anywhere would be big enough for _several demons and a rogue angel _to hide in.

"Or under," he mumbled to himself. "They're _under_ the store!" He stopped the car and was out before Bobby could even blink. Bobby met up with him by the trunk and he gave Dean a concerned look. He was probably going to start bitching about how they didn't have a plan but at this point Dean didn't really give a shit. Plans had a tendency to go wrong at any given moment, meaning that making one would be futile. Especially since they didn't have any idea what was happening inside.

"Don't even say anything," he said through gritted teeth as Bobby watched him silently.

"Wasn't going to," Bobby said eventually with a shrug. "So you're just going to walk through the front door?" Dean scoffed as he turned to give Bobby and incredulous look,

"I might be reckless, but I'm not an idiot Bobby."

"Coulda fooled me," Bobby mumbled as he grabbed a weapon from the open trunk. Dean rolled his eyes and carried on rooting through his trunk. Once they were both sufficiently armed, they nodded once at each other before they turned and started to walk towards the building. Dean double checked that the demon knife was in his inner jacket pocket.

"We've got the element of surprise on our side," he whispered as they approached one of the back entrances. He was sure that either Crowley or Darcy would use their mojo to sense their arrival, but they didn't know what the plan of action was.

"We don't even know what the plan of action is!" Bobby hissed back incredulously as Dean slipped through the door, drawing his weapon just in case Crowley had some of this thugs casing the entire building.

"All that matters right now is getting Sam back," Dean said as they inched along the dark, musty scented hallway. "And killing that bastard Crowley." Dean was pretty sure that Bobby would find a way to bitch about that despite the fact that Crowley had been a pain in their asses from day one.

"I can get down with that," Bobby said surprisingly.

"Even though he got you your legs back?" Dean whispered back as a door opened somewhere. He raised a finger to silence any response that Bobby would have come up with. As footsteps approached their current location, Dean darted out and tossed out a small dash of holy water. There was a loud hissing sound as the demon reacted and Dean reached out and stabbed it in the gut, seconds after it had lunged at them.

"Looks like we're getting warmer," Bobby remarked gruffly as they continued on with their foray into the store. "Oh and for the record, the only place for demons in downstairs in hell where they belong. Question my alliance again and I just might be forced to give you a good clip 'round the ear. 'Sides, if we kill him, there's a good chance that I'll get my soul back."

Dean grinned to himself as they located the stairway. He'd like to see Bobby try.

"Why are you so busy trying to destroy each other?" Sam asked, as he stood by the doorway, with Crowley sneering at him and Darcy looking ahead stoically. "Why can't you just forget about each other's existence and just carry on as normal?" Crowley laughed at that. It was an ugly, harsh sound and Sam felt himself getting angry. However, the hopeful look on Darcy's face made him calm down almost instantly. If he was going to kill Crowley, he'd have to do it the old fashioned way. Sam wasn't going to let out the one part of himself that he wasn't sure he knew how to control. Not if he wanted to get out of there alive.

"They cast us out because we wanted more power," Crowley spat out dangerously. "Now they want to get rid of us because our power is so great that it rivals theirs! They started this, not us."

"Oh_ please_," Darcy said as she took a step closer to Crowley. "Your so called power is fuelled by greed and misery. That's not power, it's evil. And there's no place for it. Not now, not ever. One day the angels will find a way to remove you and your pathetic creatures to a place that is far, far away from anything else. You won't even see it coming."

"That's nice and all," Sam said. "But how many times have you tried and failed? How about this, the two of you walk away from this now. Just go, forget about your irrational plans. Because when my brother gets here, there won't be much time for chatting."

"I preferred it when you whimpering like a baby in the corner," Crowley replied in response. "Sod off." He raised his hand and made a motion in Sam's direction, but nothing happened. Sam wasn't propelled backwards and sent crashing into a wall. He didn't feel any surges of power, just confident in himself. He knew that there was a way out so he was standing his ground.

No one was going to screw around with him anymore.

"Let me guess, you just happened to find a demon blood flavoured juice lying around?" Crowley laughed and shook his head. "Look at you, the _boy king_ that never was, reduced to drinking from filth from _peasants_. We all tried to warn Azazel about you."

"He doesn't need the blood to destroy you," Darcy said. "It's all there inside of him. And if he has any sense he'll put all of that power to good use and destroy hell once and for all. Come on, Sam. Think about all of the bad things that have happened to you. That was all demons, wasn't it? They were responsible for your mother's death, that pretty girlfriend of yours, your father and Dean being sent to hell. This would be the ultimate _revenge_."

Sam turns to look at her and for a second he's caught by her persuasive gaze, like she's trying to entrance him somehow. Just for a second he considers her words. She's not wrong…but she's not right either. The ultimate revenge wouldn't even matter to him anymore. He's been down that road and it's never gotten him anyway. Sometimes you just had to deal with the hand that life dealt you and just _move on._ Sam just wishes that someone had been there to tell Darcy that before she'd offered herself up to whoever the hell dished out the angels.

"What a load of bollocks." Crowley scoffed. "We sculpted him into what he is today. We _created _him. All of those things had to happen for a reason. Your lot just couldn't resist. You just had to shoehorn your way into our plans. Angel vessels? Pathetic. How did that work out? Remind me again how Winchester here outsmarted both Michael and good old Lucifer? Last time I was down there, I made sure to pay them a visit."

"From what I hear, Michael knew the risks," Darcy answered. "We weren't to know that Lucifer was apparently tired of the very same battle he started all those millennia ago."

"Ha!" Crowley replied and Sam drowned out the rest of the response as he started to try and come up with an escape plan of some sorts. He was pretty sure that Dean wouldn't let him down, but a back-up plan was always good.

By the time Dean reached the room where Sam was being held captive, he was covered in blood, sweat and all kinds of shit that he wasn't going to spend too much time thinking about. And he was _pissed_. He was ready to be done with all of this and the thought of getting Sam back and being able to kick back with a nice cold beer was barely keeping him going. So it's a good thing that Bobby was there to kick is ass into touch a little.

"It sounds like they talking," Bobby was saying as Dean stood there staring at the door morosely. "Dean. _Focus_. What's the plan?"

The plan? What plan? Hadn't they already had this discussion? The only plan Dean had in mind was to kick some fucking ass.

"We got one of these," he said, as he held up the angel sword. "And we have the knife. I reckon we can take them both out at the same time." Bobby didn't look to certain, but Dean could still hear Darcy and Crowley, arguing about whatever the fuck. He knew that it was all Sam; distract the two people who wanted to use him while he formulated a plan.

"How is that going to work?" Bobby spluttered eventually, and Dean flipped the knife in his hand and gave Bobby a cocky smirk.

"The element of surprise, Bobby," he said. "You've got permission to clip me 'round the ear if this doesn't work out." Bobby grunted to himself but he didn't dispute what Dean had said. It was still a risky plan of action, but hell, when you were as tired as Dean was right now? Everything was a risk. And sometimes you needed to take risks to save someone that you loved.

To save your own flesh and blood.

Dean and Bobby came in through some side entrances enshrouded in the shadows, which Sam hadn't spotted before. They stormed through the doors with a rebellious swagger, like they weren't taking on a hot shot demon and an angel. Sam just about managed to hold back from calling out his brother's name because Darcy and Crowley took their time to notice. And by the time they did, two objects were sailing through the air, with clear intended targets.

The demon knife hit Crowley first, and his eyes widening in surprise as he stared down at it. He chuckled, but it sounded more like a gurgle, as a trickle of blood started to drip out of the corner of his mouth. Sam didn't see the angel sword hitting Darcy, but the flash of blinding, white light told him what had happened.

It was over in mere seconds, and both Crowley and Darcy lay there on the cement floor of wherever they were in, with a pool of blood circling them. Sam let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and rushed towards Dean and Bobby with some akin to relief on his face.

"You took your time," he said hoarsely, laughing as Dean socked him in shoulder.

"Are you alright, Sammy?" Dean asked, with that concerned look in his eye that Sam had seen at least a hundred times in his lifetime.

"I'm good," he said, nodding at Bobby as the older man looked at him. "It's just a shame about Darcy." There was quiet as the three of them stared down at the two bodies, and idly, Sam wondered what had happened to the array of demons that had been scattered across the room earlier. As he caught sight of the blood splattered stains on Dean and Bobby, the answer became clear to him.

"Right," Dean said. "She was just an innocent girl, caught up in this crap. She didn't deserve this."

"Nobody deserves this," Bobby said regretfully and Sam and Dean both murmured in agreement.

When Castiel arrived, Bobby's living room was full of uncomfortable, awkward silence as Dean made his displeasure at Cas' presence known.

"No talking," Dean said gruffly. "Just see what you can do." Darcy's body lay on some wooden block that Bobby had pulled out from somewhere, her skin pale with bluish tint that made her look as dead as she very much was. Sam wasn't sure if this was going to work, but they had to at least tried, because after his own failed revenge mission, he'd gotten a second chance. Sure, she was never going to feel completely whole without her sister, but she deserved a chance to live her life in peace with some sort of semblance of normalcy. The kind of life that Sam knew that he'd never life. So, you could say that perhaps he was trying to live through her vicariously, but mostly he just didn't want this girl to have died before her time.

"I'm not sure if this will work," Cas said gravely. "But I will try to maximise the use of my resources." He placed his hands on her chest, with his blue eyes piercing her still form as a bright, warm light appeared beneath his hands. After a few minutes he removed them and the silence took over once more, as they all waited with bated breath. Sam could see a conflicted look in Dean's eyes and he wondered if this brought back memories. He wondered if this was so different from Dean bringing him back all those years ago. Maybe Darcy deserved to just…live out her afterlife wherever she was now. But after Sam's ordeal, that wasn't really a comforting thought anymore.

"Well, thanks for trying," Dean said sarcastically as he began to walk towards the door, his boots scuffing the carpet as he moved.

"Wait," Bobby said and Sam looked down at Darcy. She was beginning to stir, and he couldn't help the gasp that came out.

"Where am I?" she mumbled hoarsely and Sam turned to Cas.

"Does she remember any of this?" he asked, because if she didn't then the further away she was from the three of them, the better.

"I can't be sure," Cas said. "However, I can restore her memory point to before the…angel ordeal and transport her to a safe place."

"Yeah…do that," Sam said hesitantly because it sounded too good to be true. He'd forgotten everything. And it'd been terrifying, but…Darcy hadn't been through what he had. She wasn't some sort of angel vessel or former boy king. She was just human. "But give this just in case." He handed Cas a scrap of paper with a number scribbled on it an email address underneath. Cas was gone within seconds, leaving Sam, Bobby and Dean staring at the now dead body-free wooden block.

"Do you ever think that we'll have the chance one day?" Dean asked. "To just forget and go live normal, safe lives?"

"Nah," Sam said with a shrug. "It's just not the Winchester way."

"I'll say," Bobby agreed with a disgruntled sigh as he headed into the kitchen, leaving Sam with Dean.

"Hey," Sam said softly. "Thank you, for not giving up on me. I know that it was hard and that I definitely didn't make it easy. Just…thanks."

"You'd do the same for me," Dean said with an easy shrug, but Sam saw the response for what it was.

_You're welcome._

**The End.**

* * *

Wow! That's it! I started this a long time ago back when my writing was probably really crappy. Before posting the last chapter, I've gone through all of the chapters (I hope) and edited them. There's probably still a few mistakes so hopefully I will fix those at a later point. It's always really weird coming back to this story because although I've posted other SPN fics after it, it always feels like my last Supernatural fic. In a way it kind of is. I used to enjoy coming up with lots of crazy plots and ideas that I could put Sam and Dean through and a lot of them either didn't make to the web, or didn't make it to the finish line. So I was always determined to finish this one. But doing so was a real struggle because the show is no longer the inspiration that it once was. But I'm content with the ending. I hope that you are too.

Thank you to everyone who read this and reviewed, the encouragement that you gave me was immeasurable. A special thank you to _twnchesterangel _for all of the help and support. Sam's got your number :)


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